The line between platonic and romantic

[kisushi]

I saw something about this platform on the news just now and decided to come here to ask about my current plight. I’ve been in this position for a month already but I haven’t fully been able to get over it, I borrowed some books hoping to find some answers but my head still feels clouded so this is my last resort.

Basically, I met this person last year and we clicked instantly, became best friends in a month. We even grew feelings for each other, but things have wavered. I can’t tell whether I have lost feelings for this person or not and it frustrates me because it is really affecting our relationship because I can’t communicate with them properly. Because of the lack of communication, I have unintentionally left the other person in the dark and that caused a toll on their mental health and I feel SO GUILTY FOR IT. We didn’t talk for 10 days when I broke the news to them that I am not sure whether I like them anymore and I cried so badly the night we started talking again. They are someone I feel so comfortable to spend time with and they are so sweet. I just want to be able to give both of us clarity. We can’t maintain a healthy relationship if I can’t even establish this with them. BUT I CAN’T Not until I figure this out. But I don’t know how… please help…

[cottonsoul]

Hi @kisushi !

Thank you for sharing your concerns, I hear you and it sounds like you’re going through a really tough time right now, and it’s completely understandable why you’re feeling so overwhelmed and conflicted. I want to commend you for your courage in reaching out about this issue, as you grapple with such complex emotions.

Sometimes, our relationships can be very challenging, especially when feelings change or become uncertain. I can see that you deeply care about this person and value the connection you share with them. The fact that you’re seeking clarity and understanding speaks volumes about your sincerity and commitment to finding a solution to this.

Feeling guilty about unintentionally causing distress to someone you care about is a heavy burden to carry, but it’s important to remember that you’re not alone in this. Relationships often require open and honest communication, even when it’s difficult. While it may feel overwhelming right now, taking small steps towards understanding your own feelings and finding the right words to express them can ultimately bring clarity and relief to both you and your friend.

It might be helpful to take some time for self-reflection For example, take some time each day to write down your thoughts and feelings about the situation. This can help you clarify your emotions and gain insight into what you’re truly experiencing. Sometimes, writing can be a cathartic way to process your thoughts and untangle complex feelings You can also consider jotting down specific moments or interactions with your friend that stand out to you, as well as any patterns or recurring thoughts you notice. Reflecting on your journal entries over time may reveal patterns or insights that can guide your understanding of your feelings.

Additionally, having an open and compassionate conversation with your friend about where you’re at emotionally can provide an opportunity for mutual understanding and support. You can also consider reaching out to a therapist or counselor who specializes in relationships. A trained professional can offer a supportive and non-judgmental space for you to explore your feelings and concerns, and help you gain clarity about your emotions. From there, you can also make informed decisions about how to move forward in a way that aligns with your values and goals.

Last but not least, I encourage you to be kind to yourself throughout this process! It’s okay to feel uncertain, and it’s okay to seek support as you work through these emotions. You’re doing the best you can, and that’s truly admirable.

Let us know how you’re doing so far, and whether any of these suggestions have helped you in any way. We are here to support you.

[kisushi]

Hello! Thank you so so much, I really appreciate you. I really like the idea of self-reflection and journalling. I’ve been wanting to start journalling but have never gotten to so this can be what pushes me to finally do it! I will take this week to write it all down and be more open, will let you know how it goes!

[QLT]

Hey @kisushi, I really appreciate you opening up about your feelings. It takes courage to share something so personal. I can see how much you care about this person, and it’s clear that you’re going through a challenging time. It’s okay not to have all the answers right now. Relationships can be complex, and figuring out our feelings can take time.

It’s important to prioritize open communication, and I understand the impact it has had on both of you. Remember, it’s okay to take the time you need to figure things out. Be kind to yourself and to the other person. Clarity often comes with reflection and time. If you ever need someone to talk to or lean on, I’m here for you. Take care.