i have been crushing on one of my close friends for a long time now. i just don’t get it - after i confessed, he said that he would leave it hanging. ever since then, he gives me alot of mixed signals. his texts are naturally dry, and sometimes he would try his best to engage. i know he doesnt want a relationship right now, and neither do i. however, he thinks that i want a relationship now. one of my other friends also has a crush on him, and i despise her to earth for that. i dunno, they are classmates and him and i are in different form classes, and they get more opportunities to talk. sometimes i see both of them online, i cant help but think that they are texting one another, and i feel really trashy after that, without getting evidence that they were talking. i dont know how i can repair our friendly relationship. i just wanna be friends, but now hes so shy that he cant even say hi back to me. i js wanna know if he likes me or not, and even if he doesnt, i will move on. but right now im just so confused and sad i dont know what to do.
Hello @bunnies_grass thanks for sharing what you are going through. I am a little older now but I remember going through similar feelings of confusion and fear of rejection. I think it is very brave of you to confess your feelings to your friend. Perhaps you can find an opportunity to let him know gently that you appreciate if he can be honest about his feelings towards you so you can have closure. He may just be unaware of what you are going through at the moment in terms of feelings of confusion and sadness. I believe that if he values his friendship with you, he will find a way to let you know what he feels. If he doesn’t, then it may not be a bad thing to let go of the relationship and feelings of attachment to him and the situation I am rooting for you!
@yoshi but how would he let me know how he feels if he is a shy person who doesn’t like talking about his feelings?
@bunnies_grass yes it can be hard for some people to express their emotions openly and directly, and different people do have different styles of communication. Maybe you can ask a trusted mutual friend to broker the conversation? Or perhaps you can explore other modes of communication like writing a letter or maybe asking him to indicate in non-verbal ways (like wearing a flower shirt on a certain day) if he is keen to explore the relationship further. These are just some ideas… am certain you will be able to come up with more creative and appropriate ones based on your understanding of him Best of luck!
I feel like if his texts are naturally dry it could mean that he’s hinting you that he’s not interested. Perhaps he’s not sure how to express it so he doesn’t tell you directly. If you want to stay friends, maybe it’ll be best to organise more group outings. This way it won’t be so awkward?