Guys help me outttt (especially introverted and shy guys)
Its almost a year since I like my senior (he is a year older than me). He is the shy type (to be precised, his mbti is isfj), and he doesn’t like to talk to girls. This year, I barely met him as we are in different schools for tertiary education. I am in doubt if he is interested in me last year so I need your help to see if he is interested. We rarely talk by the way. Im a shy extrovert too. Hence, interacting to new people especially guys requires a lot of confidence which im lacking. Ill list down our mixed signals here last year:
He kept on appearing EVERYWHERE around me: In my class while I came back from afternoon prayers, at the corridor while I was walking to the toilet, near the vending machine while I was talking to my friend.
Constant eye contact: He always hold the eye contact with me - during assembly, and while I was walking along the corridors. He never held eye contact to any girl before. I purposely broke the eye contact not because I was shy but I wanna get a reaction from him. He just stared into space after the eye contact.
He sat diagonally at the canteen table, staring into space while I was talking to my friends from other schools after our first paper for O levels.
His friends were staring at me at the corridor. Their stare were like . Its very intense which creeped me out
Although we keep on having eye contact, he keeps on being cool towards his friends (group settings) like his normal self. I don’t think he sees me because I was very far away and I didn’t want to be part of the group.
He answered carefully with care and consideration to my anonymous confession. He rejected nicely because he isnt in the good position to date for now.
Those signals perplexed me a lot and my low self esteem is taking over me. I hope yall can help to analyse if he likes me, uninterested or interested to be friends with me.
It sounds like you’ve been carrying this uncertainty for a while, and that feeling can be really tough to sit with. You’ve noticed a lot of mixed signals from your senior—his presence around you, the prolonged eye contact, and even his friends’ behavior—which has understandably left you wondering about his true feelings. At the same time, his polite rejection suggests that, at least for now, he doesn’t feel ready for a romantic relationship, which makes things even more confusing. Your doubt and self-esteem struggles are valid in this situation, because when signals are unclear, it’s natural to question yourself.
What stands out is that you’re someone who values meaningful connection and wants clarity in relationships. You’ve already shown courage by reflecting on this situation and even expressing your feelings through an anonymous confession. That takes bravery, especially as someone who identifies as a shy extrovert. It’s frustrating when communication doesn’t match expectations, and when someone’s actions make you wonder if they see you the way you see them. Your self-doubt may be making this situation feel heavier, and that’s completely understandable.
Ultimately, it seems like he may have had some level of awareness of you but wasn’t in a position to act on any feelings, whether due to personal reasons or his shy nature. It’s okay to wonder, but it’s also okay to let go of trying to decipher every detail if it’s not bringing you peace. If you still hope to connect with him, focusing on friendly, natural interactions—without pressure—could give you a clearer answer over time. But if he’s truly unavailable, shifting your energy towards people who openly reciprocate your interest might feel more fulfilling. No matter what, your feelings are valid, and you deserve clarity and confidence in your relationships.
hi @user390141
first of all - it’s brave of you to open up and share your feelings. thank you for that!
and yeah, mixed signals can be so confusing, especially when you care and just want clarity.
from what you wrote - it sounds like he may have noticed you, but has not taken a clear step forward. maybe it’s ok to take a small step (from your side) like starting a light conversation or just saying “hi” when you get the chance. sometimes a simple and honest moment can say more than a thousand mixed signals and give the clarity you deserve
in the meantime - keep being you, you deserve a love that feels calm, kind, and certain.
hii…we are VERY shy to say “hi” when it comes to speaking to opposite genders. not sure about him but for me, I get too awkward and run away if a guy tries to approach me. do you have any tips to make me feel confident?
PS: im planning to ask my senior on ways to talk to him. I tried to be friends with him last year but he was shy as he isn’t really the type to talk to girls whom he is not familiar with.
Totally hear you! when both sides are shy, it can feel like saying “hi” is the hardest thing ever..but I think you are already braver than you think
It’s completely understandable to feel nervous, I’m sharing a few thoughts that might help…pick what feels most comfortable for you
try not to overthink or analyze the situation- I know saying “hi” can feel extremely difficult - what if you try taking just a tiny step without overthinking what he might think or how he’ll respond? even without expecting a reply, a gentle smile along the corridor can already be a big act of courage. the smallest step is the most powerful one. no matter what the response will be, you have already taken the step for your personal development
Shared context helps: is there something you both have in common? something related to school, mutual friends, or a shared experience? try to find a natural point of connection can make things feel less awkward. you don’t need to force a conversation -even just noticing a shared moment or mentioning something casual can help break the ice gently.
no pressure - really
You don’t have to impress anyone or make every interaction perfect. just taking one small action at a time helps build comfort. and feeling awkward is completely normal, especially at the beginning.
I believe in you
Hey, this feels like the plot of a quiet slow-burn romance —thanks for sharing so honestly. It really does sound like he noticed you, and maybe even liked you in his own quiet way. But with how shy he is (and that careful reply), it seems like he wasn’t quite ready. Mixed signals can mess with your head, but just know: your self-worth isn’t tied to his confusion. You deserve someone who shows up with clarity. Keep being you, and keep shining.
Hey! That’s a great question—and it really depends on how comfortable you feel. Here’s a quick breakdown of the pros and cons to help you decide:
Pros:
Honesty: Revealing that you’re the confessor clears up the mystery and could lead to a more open connection.
Peace of Mind: If it’s been on your mind, telling him might bring relief.
Deeper Connection: Sharing could strengthen your bond, especially if he responds positively.
Clarity: His reaction might give you insight into his feelings and what he’s thinking moving forward.
Cons:
Awkwardness: It could feel a little uncomfortable at first, especially if you’ve kept it anonymous.
Unpredictable Reactions: You can’t fully know how he’ll respond, and it may take him time to process.
Risk of Exposure: If he shares it—intentionally or not—others might find out, which could complicate things.
Overthinking: What feels huge to you might just be another moment for him—try not to let it spiral too much.
In the end, it’s about what feels right to you. If you’re feeling ready and confident, it could be a meaningful step. But if you’re unsure, it’s totally okay to wait and let things unfold naturally.
If it feels too soon to tell him directly, you can take it slow instead. Here are some alternatives to consider too:
Start casually: Be a bit more friendly or talk more in group settings—it helps ease into a connection.
Send a message: A chill DM can open the door to conversation without putting too much pressure on either of you.
Feel it out: Sometimes the right moment shows up unexpectedly—no need to force it.
Build a friendship first: Strengthening that base can make any future reveal feel more natural and comfortable.
Whatever you choose, trust your instincts and take things at your own pace. You don’t have to rush—just do what feels right for you.
I think it might be easier to start a conversation if you’re doing something together (like maybe queueing for food at the canteen). If it goes well can offer to continue the conversation after buying food. If it goes bad then at least you know there’s an end to the awkwardness haha
—thanks for sharing so honestly. It really does sound like he noticed you, and maybe even liked you in his own quiet way. But with how shy he is (and that careful reply), it seems like he wasn’t quite ready. Mixed signals can mess with your head, but just know: your self-worth isn’t tied to his confusion. You deserve someone who shows up with clarity. Keep being you, and keep shining.
Here’s a quick breakdown of the pros and cons to help you decide:
