hi, i’m posting again but i have question(s) because i don’t think this is really healthy
so basically my best friend - let’s call her N - of 4 years has been getting really close to this other person - J. They’ve been close friends since last year, which I don’t really mind since she’s of course entitled to having her own friends. It’s only started becoming an issue recently, over the past 2-3 weeks or so. N and I usually spend time together at least once a week, and she usually waits for me after school or will spend some time with me. However, recently, she’s just been going out with J, and this is almost everyday. She’s ALWAYS with J. I feel really jealous, and I feel so distant from N as of now. The vibes feel so off, and I don’t know if I’m the only one who feels it. I have no issues speaking to people but everybody has their own group of friends, which I don’t wish to invade. I only have about 3-4 close friends in school, but everyone has their own friends too. I’ve been feeling so alone these days, and I just feel like I’m slowly distancing myself from everybody. I’m aware that this isn’t good or healthy, but these feelings of jealousy and loneliness seem to be overwhelming me quite a lot. When I saw my other close friend texting J, I felt kind of jealous too. This feels kind of petty, but it’s just been bothering me so much. I feel so insignificant in people’s lives - almost disposable. I feel a little bit crazy for feeling this way. I feel so alone in this world and I don’t know what to do about it anymore.
Hey there! That sounds really tough. It makes sense that you’re feeling that way. Have you had a chance to maybe befriend J? Maybe you guys can hangout in a group of 3 instead?
Otherwise you could personally approach N and tell her how you’re feeling, and that you would like to spend time together. You could suggest an activity that you both like to do and invite her out to hangout.
I totally feel you with only having a few close friends because I’m an introvert who doesn’t really go out of my way to interact with others.
Wishing you the best! I’m rooting for you!
Dear @user8136
Thank you for being so open about what you’re feeling—it takes a lot of courage to share something this personal and raw. I want to start by saying this: your feelings are not petty, crazy, or wrong. They are completely valid, and they come from a place of care and deep emotional connection.
It’s painful when someone who means so much to us suddenly feels far away. It’s especially confusing when it’s not because of a big fight or falling out, but simply because they’ve grown closer to someone else. That kind of slow, quiet shift can hurt just as deeply as any argument—and it makes perfect sense that you’d feel left out, hurt, or even jealous.
Jealousy, in this case, doesn’t make you a bad friend. It just means you value the bond you have with N. You miss her presence, her time, and the comfort of knowing she was there for you. That loss of closeness can feel like a kind of grief, and it’s okay to feel disoriented or even a little heartbroken by it.
What’s even harder is that it sounds like you’re feeling isolated on a bigger scale, like you’re starting to pull away from others too. And I hear the pain in that—how you’re trying not to intrude, trying to be respectful of others’ friendships, but feeling more and more invisible in the process. That loneliness can feel so heavy, especially when it feels like everyone has someone but you.
Please know this:
You are not disposable. You are not insignificant.
You matter deeply, and the way you feel right now does not define your worth.
If you feel safe to do so, maybe you could gently let N know how you’re feeling. Not in a blaming way, but something honest and soft, like:
“Hey, I know you’ve been spending more time with J lately, and that’s totally okay, but I’ve been missing our time together and feeling a little left out lately. I really value our friendship and just wanted to share how I’ve been feeling.”
Sometimes, our friends don’t realise how their actions affect us, and opening that door—even just a little—can bring some healing.
And if you’re ever feeling overwhelmed by these emotions, I’d gently encourage you to talk to a school counsellor or trusted adult. You don’t have to carry all of this alone.
You’re doing your best with a very heavy heart. And that matters. You matter.
Please don’t give up on the idea that deeper connection and support is possible—you fully deserve that. Continue to reach out here whenever you are ready. 
Hey, I really understand how you’re feeling, it’s tough when the dynamic with someone close to you changes. it’s natural to feel jealous sometimes, especially when you feel disconnected from people you care about. these feelings don’t mean there’s something wrong with you, it’s just part of the process when relationships shift.
Maybe it would help to talk to N? about how you’re feeling, in a calm and honest way, without blame or anger. It could help you understand if there’s a way to balance your friendship with her while she spends time with others. even though it’s hard, it could make things feel easier and help you deal with these feelings.
you are not alone in this 