I have fear of going to school/workshops/courses because of past incidents of vomiting in class/after class. Most of cases was due to presentations/class participation/self intro/ice breaking sessions.
I just want to get a degree as in accounting industry, it seemed like most people alr have their degrees around my age…
Feeling hopeless each day as I couldn’t cope with telephone calls at work and talking to clients. Sometimes, I have a hard time trying to understand what my colleagues / seniors explain to me. It makes me feel like I dont understand what normal people say and have difficulty expressing my thoughts to people in general…
Sometimes, I feel very hopeless and they couldnt understand what is bothering me and what is there to scared about.
Should I attend some courses just to refresh my knowledge and maybe gain courage? 
Its so lonely to attend alone
Hi @thatlittlemelody ,thank you so much for sharing this. I can really hear how heavy this feels for you. The fear of going to school or workshops because of past experiences like vomiting during class or presentations must be really stressful and upsetting. It makes complete sense that you’d feel anxious about putting yourself in similar situations again. Those experiences can leave a big mark, and your feelings are completely valid.
I also hear how much you want to get your degree and succeed in your career. Wanting to improve yourself, despite the anxiety and challenges, is such a brave and important step. It shows a lot of strength that you’re thinking about ways to push forward, even when it feels overwhelming.
Attending courses to refresh your knowledge could be a really positive way to rebuild confidence and courage. You don’t have to do everything perfectly or instantly feel comfortable. It’s okay to take small steps. Even if you attend alone, you might find that there are others who feel nervous too, and sharing or connecting over your learning can make the experience feel less isolating.
It’s understandable to feel frustrated when you struggle with calls or understanding colleagues. It doesn’t mean you’re failing. Many people experience these challenges, especially in new environments, and it doesn’t define your ability to succeed. You’re taking thoughtful steps to grow and learn, and that in itself is something to be proud of.
Remember, it’s okay to move at your own pace and seek support when needed, whether from friends, mentors, or even a counsellor, so you don’t have to face these challenges alone. The courage you’re showing by considering returning to school is already a huge achievement and you should be really proud of yourself for that!
1 Like
Hey @thatlittlemelody I can feel how heavy the hopelessness feels in your words. You’re carrying so much self-doubt, and yet I also see the hope hidden in your question where the part of you that still wants to try courses, still wants to get your degree, still wants to belong in your field. That’s the part I want to hold up for you because that part matters. To me, it shows determination and courage, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now.
It also sounds like you’re very self-aware like you know exactly what situations trigger your anxiety (calls, presentations, client conversations). That kind of insight is powerful, because it means you can prepare and find ways to care for yourself in those moments. Sometimes caring for yourself in those moments can mean really practical things like jotting down a few phrases before a call, practicing a short self-intro in front of a mirror, or giving yourself permission to pause and breathe. Even small steps like these can help the situation feel more manageable.
If you do choose to attend a course, maybe it doesn’t have to be about proving yourself to anyone. It could simply be about gently rebuilding trust in your ability to show up. Even attending one session quietly, without the pressure to speak, is already progress. Sometimes the bravest step is just being there.
Please be gentle with yourself as you walk through this. You deserve patience, understanding, and small steps forward at your own pace. Wishing you strength, kindness, and steadier days ahead 
1 Like