just wanted to get this off my chest.
i failed a uni module that i need to retake and pass in order to clear certain programme requirements. it’s been weighing on me a lot lately because the reason why i failed was due to this massive fear of failure. the assessments were pretty intensive and i was so afraid of screwing up that i could not bring myself to put in the proper effort for them, even if the subject was something i found rather interesting/enjoyable, leading to me missing a lot of them without a valid reason. all this could have totally been preventable if i had actually tried to at least show up for things, but what’s done has been done. things kept snowballing during the semester to the point where i completely stopped caring about deadlines (another factor that contributed to my failure). they no longer served as motivators for me, and i ended up submitting a lot of my assignments late, not just for the failed module in particular, but for many of my other mods. i’d never really told anyone about this struggle either as i tend to self isolate when things get tough, which causes some kind of vicious cycle.
i don’t want to completely conceal the fact that i need to retake this module (if i were to really lie about this, i’d have to keep this up for the entire semester), but at the same time, i feel so ashamed of admitting to the fact that i failed something. i think the people around me view failing as something very taboo, i really don’t know how i can justify this to them. i’m honestly not sure how to justify this to myself either, i used to be much more conscientious about my studies and at this stage i’m treating it like nothing even matters.
my main concern is that i have extra responsibilities i have committed to for the year ahead, and i’m really worried that i will end up falling back into these terrible habits once the stress piles up, which would make my acads/mental health take an even harder hit.
if you’ve read this till the end, thank you, i appreciate ya
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Hey @user8766. Thank you for trusting us with this. That took a lot of courage and honesty to write out… To admit to the cycle, the fear, the avoidance, and the shame? That’s not weakness. That’s self-awareness. And that’s strength too.
First, I just want to say that you’re not weak or lazy or messed up. You are overwhelmed and your brain shut down as a coping mechanism. But now you’re aware of the patterns, which is huge. You said you’re afraid of falling back into those habits. That’s good. That means you want different now. That’s where change begins.
Also, failing one module doesn’t erase your potential. It isn’t proof you failed. What matters more now is how you show up for yourself after, proof that you’re choosing to try again. And I can already see that you care. That you are trying. That counts for a lot.
Maybe instead of asking “how do I justify this?”, try asking gently “how can I be kinder to myself as I try again?”. You deserve grace, not shame.
If you’re up for it, I’d like to invite you to start small:
- Can you make one plan for accountability (like sharing a goal with someone you trust)?
- One way to track how you’re coping weekly?
- One boundary for those extra responsibilities if your plate feels too full?
Small steps, no shame. You’re still in the game. Once retake doesn’t define you, how you respond does.
You’re allowed to learn. You’re allowed to try again and again and again 
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Hey @user8766,
Thank you for opening up — that took guts. It’s incredibly human to freeze when fear of failure gets too loud. What you shared… it’s not uncommon, and it doesn’t make you weak. It makes you honest.
I actually failed a module once too — not because I didn’t care, but because I was so scared of failing that I couldn’t even start. Deadlines became blurry, everything felt heavy, and I isolated just like you. At the time, I thought it meant I was broken. But later, I realised I was just burnt out and overwhelmed by the pressure I was silently carrying.
What helped me slowly get back wasn’t some perfect study plan — it was letting myself be seen. Talking to someone. Taking the next assignment not as a measure of my worth, but just… a step. I learnt to try again not because I was fixed, but because I was still here. Still willing to try.
You’re in that place too. You don’t need to justify this module retake to anyone. This doesn’t define you. You’ve already learned something really powerful — fear left alone grows bigger, but talking about it shrinks its hold.
Maybe this time, instead of trying to do it all alone, you could let someone walk with you through it — even just a little. And if you feel the old patterns returning, that’s not failure again. That’s just the signal to reach out earlier.
You’re not alone. You’re just in the middle of your story — not the end of it.
Holding space with you.
– someone who’s failed and stood up again 
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Hi, thank you for sharing, and it is okay to feel stressed as the course exams sounds very intensive. Perhaps you may also want to try taking short walks when you are overwhelmed, as there will be period of times where the work seems quite heavy and a quick walk may help us take a breather.
I understand that this period will be tough to study for the module with your other commitments, but I believe that you can do it, rooting for you OP 
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