tired and unmotivated

i’m currently working in the morning and study in the afternoon/evening. i work with special needs kids and sometimes i’m so drained after work i can barely do any of my own studies. although i’m paying my way through school myself, my parents are insistent on me graduating in a year and are pressuring me. i feel so lost and hopeless as if i’m drowning, but i don’t know how to cope with everything anymore and tend to burst into tears when alone. any advice on how to manage my stress?

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Hi @lette

Thank you for sharing your struggles, and I’m really sorry to hear that you’re going through such a difficult time. It sounds like you’re carrying a heavy load between work, studies, and family expectations. Taking care of special needs kids can be emotionally and physically demanding, and it’s completely understandable that you’re feeling drained. I recognize that you feel lost and hopeless - these feelings are totally are valid, and it’s okay to reach out for support.

One strategy that might help is to try to carve out some time for self-care, even if it’s just a few minutes each day. This could be something as simple as taking a short walk, practicing deep breathing exercises, or listening to calming music. Finding small ways to recharge your batteries can make a big difference in managing stress!

Additionally, open communication with your parents might be helpful. Letting them know how you’re feeling and the challenges you’re facing could lead to a better understanding of your situation. They may not realize the extent of your struggles and could be more supportive if they’re aware of what you’re going through. Here’s a helpful tool that might be useful to walk you through that conversation - Practicing Difficult Conversations

It might also be beneficial to explore resources for support, whether that’s talking to a counsellor or seeking out a support group! :slight_smile: Having someone to talk to who can provide guidance and empathy can be incredibly helpful in times of stress. You could try reaching out to a counsellor at a nearby Family Service Centre, or you could try one of these online options:

Above all, remember to be kind to yourself :slight_smile: You’re doing the best you can in a difficult situation, and it’s okay to ask for help when you need it. You’re not alone, and we are here to support you.

Let us know how you’re coping? Hear from you soon.

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i’m so sorry to hear that youre feeling the way you do :frowning: it’s really hard… I think in times when there’s so much expectations from external factors, it will help to speak to your inner self and identify what is important to just you. you are the one going through all the challenges and hardships, it will be worth it when it is meaningful to yourself. expressing ourselves amongst all the voices from others is really difficult sometimes, and when you find some clarity and have confidence in your own opinions, maybe it will relief you from the drowning feeling.
alsooo dont hate the crying, i personally find its a super effective stress outlet for myself >< :muscle:

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I feel you. I did that for 5 years and it really drained me out. Although I must say working with special needs children really require next level energy.

I think crying is a good stress reliever. I don’t cry often but I’ve felt like crying many times during that 5 years too.

Is there any reason why your parents are encouraging you to finish in one year?

thank you for the reply! i come from a large family, and my parents want me to be independent in uni hence the rushing haha

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Hello @lette thank you for bearing your heart out here ! It’s not easy doing what you do and I feel it takes someone with a big heart to be able to work with children with special needs so I commend you for that hehe :+1:

Have you tried communicating your feelings of being overwhelmed to your parents ? It may help relieve some stress if they understand your current situation and stressors ?

Remember that your health and well being is a priority too ! How can you continue to do good or achieve things if your health is deteriorated ?

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I see, do you feel like there’s some inherent comparison between you and your other family members too? Maybe what’s helpful is to explain the nature of your job to them - have they seen how demanding your job is and how difficult it is to juggle both work and studies?

And actually, if you’re paying on your own, wouldn’t that count as being “independent” already? Or are they hoping that something will change after you graduate?

P.S I also agree with @Otterworldly, it takes a big heart to work with children with special needs. You’re doing good. :innocent:

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I’m currently a student, I’m turning into a teenager soon.
Recently, or maybe a lot of years, I have been feeling down. I feel like I have no purpose and feel unmotivated to live. I tried to kill myself a few days ago but I couldn’t, thinking about my family and friends. But, my mother, my father. my grandmother has been hurting my feelings without knowing. It’s been getting hard for me to sleep and focus on study. My grades have been going down. I don’t know what to do.
I’m tired of life.

My friends see me as cheery and playful with that smile I force onto my face. I cry more often and feel sadder than before. I lock myself inside my room and cry.

I don’t know what to do. Please give me some advice?

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Hello @kitsuoholic thank you for sharing ! I can only imagine how overwhelming things may seem to you now :people_hugging:

Please feel free to pour your heart out here we are all here to listen and help there is no need to hide your true self :heart:

If you need to talk to a person immediately do call Samaritans of Singapore 24 hour hotline at 1767

Otherwise if you want to seek help sorting out your feelings you may seek the nearest service provider here:

Remember jiayous we are here for you :people_hugging:

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I’m sorry to hear that @kitsuoholic. Thanks for sharing your story, I’m glad you’re still here.

What did they do to hurt your feelings?

Hi @kitsuoholic

Thanks for updating us. I hear you, and I’m truly sorry to hear that you’re going through such a difficult time. It sounds like you’re carrying a heavy burden, and it’s really so brave of you to reach out for help. It’s not easy to open up about these feelings, but it’s an important step towards healing.

We hear you, feeling like you lack purpose and motivation can be very overwhelming, especially when it starts affecting your everyday life and your relationships. It’s understandable that you’ve been struggling with your mental health, and I want you to know that you’re not alone in this.

First and foremost, please remember that your life has value, and there are people who care deeply about you, as evidenced by your consideration for your family and friends when you were in such distress. You’re not a burden to them, and they would want you to seek help and support during this time too.

I would really like you to consider reaching out to a trusted adult, like a school counselor, teacher, or family member, who can provide you with the support and guidance you need. Talking to someone who understands and can offer professional help can make a huge difference in managing these overwhelming emotions. If you would like, you can also try to reach out to the resources that I shared earlier (the Family Service Centres and online mental health professionals), so that you can receive timely support.

It’s also important to prioritize self-care and activities that bring you joy and relaxation. Whether it’s spending time with supportive friends, engaging in hobbies you enjoy, or practicing mindfulness and relaxation techniques, finding moments of peace and comfort can help alleviate some of the emotional pain you’re experiencing.

Last but not least, I understand that it might feel overwhelming sometimes, so please do keep these numbers and contact them in case of emergency or in case you find yourself in crisis:

Remember, healing takes time, and it’s okay to seek help and take things one step at a time. You’re not alone in this journey - we are here to walk with you.

Keep us updated on how you’re doing please? We’ll be here for you.

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Thank you everyone for your advice! I have been reaching out for help from my parent and friends. I’ve have also told my parents on how I feel on their comments. I might be away for some time and my apologies if I didn’t get to answer your questions. I’ll try to answer them after I come back!

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Glad to see that you are working things out you can always come back here when you need :otter:

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Glad you reached out for help, @kitsuoholic. Like @cottonsoul said - your life is valuable! We’ll be here for you whenever you need us. :relieved:

Hello, kitsuo’s mother here. She killed herself a few days ago. I found this website in his phone, she saved it. I hate myself for not being there when she needed me. I’ll never forgive myself. I can’t even believe I used to call her names like ugly and others. I don’t deserve to be a mother. Its all my fault. Thank you for giving her advice. This is the last time she will be on this website. I miss her.