Throughout the years I have always had a really strong friendship with many different people for about a good three months before we stop being close to one another compared to the previous weeks but, we still remain friends just that we are not as close as before. I just want to rant about how this thought of temporary best friendship is really taking a toll on me because, I am tired to get close to someone before that friendship comes to an end and not lasting throughout our entire friendship. Can I just have at least some of these friendships last for a long time? I just do not want my friendship to be treated like a Netflix subscription anymore but, I do not know how to solve this issue…
2 Likes
hii, honestly i felt this before too. I think its more of maintaining the friendship. like even after that few months, just randomly pop up and text them and just keep an update. Sometimes, the vibe just isn’t there anymore, maybe you could ask your ex best friends on the reason why y’all drifted and how you could improve from there?
Personally when this happen to me, i just try to pop up in the person 's life and see how they are doing and to let them know that its fine to have low maintenance friendships 
2 Likes
Ah sounds like a tough situation to be in emotionally. May be good to think about what a strong friendship mean to you. Do you have certain expectations which may not have been communicated or do not align with the views of others? You can consider sharing what you feel with some of your friends to gain a better understanding of each other’s perspective.
I feel that this is part of an adulting process which many of us go through. We learn more about ourselves and our position/role in relation to others as we grow older. Friendships do come and go but I don’t think it should stop us from growing our social network and building strong relationships with a select few that we trust. I hope you will find these few trusted individuals whom you will love and who will love you back equally in different stages of your life 
Here are some good resources on building a strong social circle which may be helpful.
3 Likes
Hi, as u grow older your friends definitely will dropped. Slowly u will filter off the old friends and make new best friends along the way like during work or know someone through hobbies. Tbh I have 0 primary school, secondary school and poly friends already. Well I don’t really care but those who will maintain friendship with u will be those u can keep forever in your life
2 Likes
great advice! broken link to the resources though 
it sounds really exhausting to pour your energy into a friendship, only to have it fade away after a short time. It can feel like you’re constantly starting over and not getting the depth or consistency you’re craving. Friendships are supposed to be a source of connection and stability, and it must feel really discouraging when they don’t last as long as you’d like.
It’s tough because, sometimes, friendships do go through phases where they seem really close, and then people drift apart for a variety of reasons. But that doesn’t mean it’s a reflection of you or your worth—it’s just the natural ebb and flow of life, especially as people’s circumstances change. The comparison to a Netflix subscription really hits—it can feel like you’re being “swiped away” when the novelty wears off, and that can sting.
Have you tried talking about this with your friends when you notice the closeness starting to slip away? Sometimes opening up about how you feel might actually bring people closer because they know what’s on your mind. Also, finding friends who really align with your values and how you want to maintain long-term connections could help. It’s definitely not easy, but some friendships do last and evolve over time, and it’s possible to find that lasting connection, even if it takes a little longer.
You deserve to have friendships that feel fulfilling and consistent. Would you want to explore ways to make those kinds of connections happen, or maybe talk about any specific moments where you felt a friendship was fading?