I’ve been hiding my transgender identity since 1993, out of fear of losing everyone around me. So i tried to follow as I was assigned at birth, as a male. Time and time again, I’ve been knocked down throughout my work and social life.
I’ve been married for nearly 5 years and have been experiencing psychological abuse for nearly 4 years from my spouse and her mother. I tried to keep it together until my spouse caused me to lose my livelihood in 2021, during the Covid pandemic. This caused my first mental breakdown and that’s when I came out to my spouse.
However, for the last two years, she has been making things really hard for me, not understanding my physical and mental condition. I have been accused of having affairs and not wanting to get a job. Due to my physical conditon, I have to be picky with my employment. People around her has said I’m just making excuses.
After a very minor altercation, my spouse left without wanting to resolve issues that led me into another two mental breakdowns within the same month and this led to my complete coming out as a Trans-female. My spouse initially wanted to reconcile but was threatened by her mother of disownment.
I’m also facing the possibility that I will never be able to see my now 2 year old daughter again. At the same time, I facing homelessness as my spouse wants to take our home and leave me with nothing.
I decided to transition socially but now I’m getting a lot of grief, facing a divorce and negative remarks from the older generation. I’m getting stressed out and i don’t know what to do.
I’ve been diagnosed with drepression and being reviewed for Battered Spouse Syndrome and delayed onset Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.
My physical conditions are injured right shoulder, right wrist, right knee and lower back.
My right shoulder and wrist are incurable and limits my carrying weight to less than 4kg. My right knee can only be relieved for up to two years and it will come back with even more pain. As for my lower back, I’ve had two surgeries and the doctor has said if I injure it one more time, it will be metal implants with a 50% chance of being paralysed from the waist down.
I’m really stressed and at a loss on how to carry on.