What’s going on

I haven’t been able to feel much intensity in my emotions, and i can’t seem to cry no matter how sad or frustrated i feel


Hi @user1037 !

Thank you for being so brave to share this with us, I hear you, and it’s completely understandable to feel frustrated and concerned about not being able to experience the intensity of emotions or to express them through crying. It can be very distressing you’re unable to find that release or connection to your emotions.

I do have a few questions that I hope you can reflect and answer, so that I can have a better idea of the situation:

  1. Can you identify any specific triggers or patterns that might be contributing to your difficulty in feeling intense emotions or crying? This can help us to understand or be aware of any potential underlying factors.

  2. How has this inability to express emotions impacted your relationships and daily life? Understanding the broader impact of your emotional experience can help us gauge the severity of the issue and identify areas where you might need additional support or coping strategies.

  3. Are there any past experiences or beliefs that could be influencing your emotional responses? Sometimes, past traumas or learned behaviors can shape how we perceive and express emotions in the present.

Please do let me know your thoughts and reflections further, I’ll be here to support you.
I hope to hear from you soon!

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  1. I don’t think i can identify any triggers, it just seemed to happen gradually over the years. I used to think that it was because my worldview has changed and i don’t take too many things seriously, but now that when it concerns people i care about i feel like there may be something wrong

  2. My significant other has pointed out that i haven’t been able to meet their emotional needs, and my newer friends tend to see me as a stoic person these days

  3. The only past experiences that i think may have contributed would be the traditional teaching of “men don’t cry”, though it didn’t seem to have an impact early on as i haven’t heard that phrase in years


Thanks for sharing @user1037. This sounds very similar to what @Notearsformula is facing in his post here: Grieving and Crying

I get what you mean about being a stoic. I’m kinda like one too and my partner also feels that I’ve not been adequately meeting her emotional needs - and by then I mean showing wayyyyy emotions. Otherwise she feels like she’s talking to a wall.

I don’t have much concrete advice but I’m starting by describing my feelings a lot more. Expanding your emotions vocab helps too so you can accurately describe how you’re feeling. Then as you learn more, maybe you’ll find certain words that associate with you better and maybe feel more intense feelings?

Hi @user1037

Thanks for answering the reflection questions! I can hear that you’re grappling with a complex mix of emotions and experiences, and it’s understandable to feel unsure about the changes you’ve noticed in yourself, especially when they seem to affect your relationships and your ability to meet others’ emotional needs.

Reflecting on past experiences, such as the traditional teaching of “men don’t cry,” can indeed shed light on how societal expectations and upbringing may have influenced your emotional expression. These ingrained beliefs can take time to recognize and unravel, especially as we go through different phases of our lives and relationships.

Perhaps these suggestions might help you out a little bit, let us know if you’ve tried any of these:

  1. Try to have an open and honest communication with your partner, as it is key in any relationship. Talk to your significant other about your struggles and what you’re experiencing. You can also share your concerns and listen to their perspective as well. Working together to understand each other’s needs can strengthen your bond :slight_smile:

  2. You can also practice allowing yourself to feel and express a wide range of emotions, even if it feels uncomfortable at first. It’s okay to show vulnerability and express your feelings authentically. This can help deepen your connections with others :slight_smile:

I want to encourage you, that change takes time, so be patient with yourself as you work towards becoming more in tune with your emotions and meeting the emotional needs of those around you :slight_smile: Try to celebrate small victories along the way and recognize the progress you’re making too!

Please let us know how you’re doing so far and if we can continue to support you further.

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