I don’t really know what’s wrong with me. Whenever I become stress, I abandoned everything, everyone and isolate myself.
I can easily make friends but never last. I can’t make those friendships last long. I just really doesn’t care about other people and all I know about is me. And I also have some issues. I really didn’t notice those issues until these days. Whenever I feel stress, unhappy, angry, sad, I abandon everyone and isolate myself alone. I don’t call, text to everyone. Those moments last at least 3 days. I though I’m very important person in other people’s lives. But I’m wrong. I’m not important as I though. I just know I need to fix these problems but I don’t know how to fix or don’t know what my problems are. Can you help me?
@Yoon Heyy I’m really sorry that you’re going through this. It sounds like you’re feeling overwhelmed, and it’s completely okay to feel unsure about what’s going on. It takes a lot of self-awareness to notice these patterns, and that’s a big step already.
It can be hard when stress leads to isolation, and it makes sense that you’d feel disconnected from others as a result. I personally don’t like people to interact with me when I’m stress because I end up hurting them with a annoyed tone…
Sometimes, when we’re overwhelmed, it feels easier to pull away, but yet we want people to care as well, such a push and pull…
I’m not a professional, so I’ll leave the professional advice by the therapists here. But I’d like to give my personal method of dealing with stress. I often reflect on what is making me stress and what do I need most now, so sometimes it would be Rest, or sometimes I need human interaction, or sometimes I just need to vent out. By addressing these thoughts, I would refrain from isolating myself and try to address my needs at that moment to reduce my stress. I even tell my friends or loved ones sometimes like “I’m so stress right now so I don’t feel like talking, but do you mind checking on me afterwards?”. When I communicate clearly that way, they would know how I feel and what I need, and hence I would avoid the feeling of not feeling important to others.
Hope this helps and feel free to chat with me more about it!
Hey @Yoon As a socially anxious person, social interactions, even with close friends, overwhelm me and I find myself needing to recharge, just like you. So to me, you needing that 3 days away for yourself might not be a bad thing, if you body is telling you it needs it.
I think what’s important to think about is what do you usually do during your days of isolation? Do you focus on recovering and doing things that heal you? Are you doing things you enjoy?
How often are you triggered into isolating yourself? Are there any patterns you can think of, any similar experiences causing you to be overwhelmed and exhausted? Why do you consider this behaviour as something you need to change?
It’s important to listen to your mind and body, especially when there’s a need to rest and recharge. However, it’s also good to understand what is causing the shut downs and the isolation periods so you can be more in-tune with your body. If this is persisting very often to the point that it’s affecting your daily functioning, please seek professional advice. I hope you gain more insights to what you’re facing right now, thank you for sharing your story
Thank you for reaching out. It takes immense courage to acknowledge and seek help. I believe this is already a good first step. Many of us face similar experiences so don’t feel alone. With some small incremental changes and committed, steady actions you can gradually manage this, so please take heart.
My understanding on concerns raised and challenges are stress-induced isolation, maintaining friendships, perception of selfishness, emotional regulation and feeling unimportant. I believe the following may help:
1. Consult a therapist or counsellor to explore any underlying issues.
2. Identify triggers for stress-induced isolation.
3. Develop emotional regulation strategies (mindfulness, journaling).
4. Improve communication skills to maintain friendships.
5. Practice empathy and active listening.
In addition attempt asking reflection questions for self insight and greater awareness such as:
1. What are your thoughts and feelings during isolation?
2. How do you handle conflicts or difficult emotions?
3. What are your expectations from friendships?
4. How do you prioritize self-care?
I think you are fully capable of growth by the very fact you have courageously reached out. Continue to invest time and effort for self discovery, reflection and take actions toward what you want. Some of these are new behaviours and therefore uncomfortable and challenging. Stay on track and you will find there is growth and improvement. Keep going!
It sounds like you’re dealing with a lot and feeling quite alone. It takes a lot of courage to reach out for help and acknowledge that there are things you want to work on. It’s okay not to have all the answers right away, but taking this first step is important.
If you’re open to it, seeking support from a therapist or counselor could be really helpful in understanding and addressing these issues. You’re not alone, and there are people who care about you and want to support you through this.
As a socially anxious person, social interactions, even with close friends, overwhelm me and I find myself needing to recharge, just like you. So to me, you needing that 3 days away for yourself might not be a bad thing, if you body is telling you it needs it.