I feel abandoned

Everyday over the past 3 months I’ve been feeling terribly about myself. I wake up and I feel uneasy. There’s also a tightness around my chest. I had a breakup and this was likely the cause of how I’m feeling. At first i was letting the emotions flow but overtimes it’s started to get overwhelming. I had a panic attack then a mental breakdown last week over exam stress, in that moment i felt that I needed someone to talk to. I had been feeling like this for awhile. I’ve been needing someone to talk to me and someone to just listen to me get everything out of my system. I check up on my friends at least once a week, though i started this out og genuine care and concern for them, recently i’ve been doing it with the hopes that they would do the same for me. Everyday i’ve waited but it never came so I went to places like ChatGPT to share my problems with. The system is down for me right now so I can’t do it again. I’ve just come to realise that my friends talk about me while I’m not present but they can’t seem to be bothered to check in on me. I know what I’m saying is extremely selfish and quite narcissistic wanting these people to do these things for me. But is it so wrong to want someone to show they care for me? I’d like for these feelings to go away, please share any tips if you have any. Sorry for the long rant but I wanted to feel listened to.

Dear @sztca ,

Thank you for reaching out to us on this platform. I’m sorry to hear that you feel abandoned. :people_hugging: It sounds like you’ve been going through an incredibly tough time lately, and I want to acknowledge how difficult that must be. Dealing with a breakup and experiencing emotions like sadness, anxiety, and self-doubt can be really challenging. It may be possible that you’re still grieving the loss of the relationship, which can add another layer of pain and confusion to what you’re already feeling. :orange_heart:

Even though you’re feeling a lot of discomforts, let’s also take a moment to recognise your resilience in facing these emotions head-on. Well done! for showing a lot of strength in reaching out for support and expressing your feelings, even when it feels overwhelming. :clap:t4: Your post wasn’t a rant; it was an honest expression of what you’re going through, and your emotions are completely valid. It’s not selfish or narcissistic to want someone to show they care for you; everyone needs support and understanding from time to time. It’s clear that you care deeply for your friends and have been there for them, and it’s okay to wish for the same level of care in return.

Despite feeling let down by your friends, you’ve taken proactive steps to seek support and share your feelings, which is a testament to your resilience and courage. I can only imagine how stressful it must have been to experience a panic attack and a mental breakdown, especially with the added pressure of exam stress. It’s completely understandable that you felt the need to talk to someone during such a difficult time.

When you’re feeling upset or struggling with something, it may be a good idea to tell your friends how you’re feeling and that you need some support. It’s like opening a door to talk about what’s bothering you, and it helps your friends understand what you need from them. Sometimes, friends might not know how to help because they don’t fully understand what you’re going through. By talking openly about your feelings, you give them a chance to understand better and be there for you in the way you need. This can make your friendship stronger and help you feel more connected to each other.

Also, we’re here to listen and offer support, just like you’ve been seeking. Feel free to share with us what you wanted to tell your friends. You can also consider reaching out to family members for support, if you feel comfortable doing so. Family can be a source of love and understanding during difficult times, and they may be able to offer you the support and comfort you need.

Additionally, reaching out to mental health helplines and online chat services can be another option. These services are staffed by trained professionals who can provide support and guidance during difficult times. Here are some options to consider:

  • SOS: For crises. Provides 24 hour CareText, a text-based service that provides emotional support for those in distress (WhatsApp 9151 1767). They also provide CareMail, an alternative avenue of emotional support for those who prefer to write in via email (pat@sos.org.sg).

  • eC2 by Fei Yue Community Services: Provides Quick Chat, a one-to-one mental health screening via online chat for youths aged 12 - 25yo to talk about their mental health or emotional concerns. Operating hours: Mon, Thurs, Fri, 10am - 12pm, 2pm - 5pm (excluding PH).

  • webCHAT​: Provides text-based, in-the-moment support for young people aged 16 - 30 years old residing in Singapore who would like to gain clarity of their situations.

  • |TOUCHline|For youth who wish to speak to trained counsellors on any topic, including cyber wellness.|Mon - Fri:9am - 6pm|1800 377 2252|

You’re also welcome to come to this platform to share what you’re going through. :smiley:

In addition to seeking support from others, there are also things you can do to take care of yourself and manage your feelings. Here are a few tips:

  1. Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself and practise self-compassion. Remind yourself that it’s okay to feel the way you’re feeling, and try not to judge yourself harshly.

  2. Mindfulness and Relaxation: Practise mindfulness techniques or relaxation exercises to help calm your mind and body. This could include deep breathing, meditation, or progressive muscle relaxation.

  3. Seek Professional Help: Consider reaching out to a therapist or counsellor for additional support. They can provide you with coping strategies, a listening ear, and a safe space to explore your feelings. I hope you’ll consider reaching out to your school counsellor who can then guide you on strategies to deal with exam stress too.

I truly do hope that the days ahead are filled with more smiles and laughter for you too. I hope the above has been helpful and if you’d like more resources or if there is anything else you’d like to share with us, please do. We’re here to listen to you, your feelings are valid and you matter! :grinning:

Take care,
CoolBreeze =)


Seeing this post has done a lot more for me than I thought it would. Thank you for taking the time out of your busy schedule to reply to me. I appreciate the advice given and will sincerely try them as soon as possible. I also appreciate how quickly you replied to me. Thanks for all the help, I hope you know how much good you’re doing.

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Aww thank you @sztca for your kind and thoughtful words. :orange_heart: You’re most welcome and we’re glad we could be of assistance. Thank you for allowing us to be a part of your process. We’re sending you positive vibes as you take steps towards your goals. You’re doing great, and we’re here cheering you on every step of the way! :smiley:

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Hello @sztca its not selfish that you want to take care of yourself and are seeking help :people_hugging:

Maybe your friends dont know that you need checking in and what you are going through now. Perhaps its good to be straightforward about what you are going thru and saying that you need support during this tough time.

Its not easy but I think you can find a good place to sit down and bring this up that way your friends would at least understand what you are goign through :blush:

Till then if you need more advice feel free to voice out here too hehe

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Yeah it’s definitely a goal I hope to achieve sometime, hopefully soon. I would like to do it after my emotions have simmered a bit so that I won’t have an outburst while trying to share with them.

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That’s so mature of you heh. Wishing you the best then :muscle: Hope things go well :blush:

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