“Everyone’s getting their degree… starting full-time jobs… getting engaged… and I’m just… stuck.”
If this feels familiar, you’re not alone. That sinking feeling when you see another “life update” online? It’s something that’s often referred to as milestone anxiety - the stress and self-doubt that creeps in when it seems like everyone else is hitting major life goals… and you’re not.
It can make you question your worth, or wonder if you’ve somehow fallen behind. But here’s the truth: Milestones aren’t a race, and there is no fixed timeline for figuring life out.
Social media often adds pressure. We scroll through highlight reels - graduations, promotions, engagements - without seeing the uncertainty or messiness behind them all. And sometimes, we may end up chasing these milestones not because they feel right for us, but because we’re afraid of falling behind.
Just a gentle reminder
Life isn’t a checklist. And the “next big thing” won’t bring peace and contentment if it’s not aligned with what truly matters to you.
Let’s reflect together
What’s one milestone you feel pressured to reach right now?
Why do you think that particular goal feels so important?
If no one else was watching, what would you choose to focus on?
You don’t need to have it all figured out. You’re allowed to grow, shift, pause.. and still be worthy through it all.
Feel free to share your thoughts below - we’re in this together
This is incredibly motivating! As someone without a degree or diploma, I feel inspired and empowered to pursue my goals.
What’s one milestone you feel pressured to reach right now?
Answer:a 250cc inline 4 motorcycle and a life partner
Why do you think that particular goal feels so important?
Answer:I believe that goal is significant because it will truly bring me happiness. As an introvert, I often find myself without anyone to talk to. Owning a motorcycle would change that; it would attract attention and give me something to showcase in my neighborhood.
If no one else was watching, what would you choose to focus on?
Answer : If no one else was watching, I would choose to dedicate my time to activities that inspire me and bring me joy.
Woh, thank you for bringing this topic up. I just can’t seem to find any real nourishing support system to calm my anxieties.
The milestone I’m pressurised is to earn my bachelor’s degree. Honestly, I won’t call it pressure if not for my family. I have long been serious when it comes to academics, but that doesn’t make me a nerd . I have a well balanced life in that I have interests beyond studies, a well maintained social circle (beyond my family) and I love exercising.
I’m youthful and full of energy( when I’m outdoors).
As you might have guessed, being amongst my family just doesn’t seem to be working out anymore. Ever since secondary school, my boundaries have not been respected at home.
With that said, earning my bachelor’s degree is ,so called, my first step to managing my life by myself.
If no one is watching (and causing obstructions), I would focus in full swing ,on improving myself to get where I want to reach in life. I like how you stressed the condition - if no one is watching. It’s not like I do not want guidance from elders, but unsolicited advice may have no impact on an individual and may even serve as a stressor sometimes. You can advice someone who is lost, but not someone who’s on track, you see…
Wow, that just lifted a burden of my shoulders!
Thanks
I so agree with your answer to the 3rd question!!!
I’m trying to do that too, and these activities to me are music related (i love singing) and maybe to sleep more hahahaha
what are these activities that inspire you and bring you joy?
But one milestone I feel like I’m in a rush to achieve is actually to get into a Clinical Psychology program. It’s something I’ve dreamed of for a long time and I’m finally at the stage where I am ready to apply. But it is frustrating and sad because I’ve been met with some rejections and bumps, which make me want to rush even more.
Mental health professionals are human too! And sometimes we do fall for the little thinking traps that make us rush or think negatively. I’m glad there are spaces like this that remind not just me, but everyone from all walks of life to check-in on themselves and their headspaces
. I have a well balanced life in that I have interests beyond studies, a well maintained social circle (beyond my family) and I love exercising.
