basically i have a lot of friend group issues and it’s gotten from bad to worse
on top of that i have unresolved eating disorder issues but i really don’t have time or the energy to care about that anymore
but i feel it creeping in, i can feel the questions coming, like will they finally know how much they hurt me if i kill myself? will they finally care? i’ve worked so hard for my future but it feels like i slipped back in time so much to a point where it doesn’t even matter anymore. i know this is like tunnel vision, but how can people treat people like this?? i’m so hurt but how do i show that? how are they human? what do i do.
Dear @user767643
Thank you for airing what has been on your mind for a while. I am glad you reached out for support among the community here.
I fully get how hurt and alone you are feeling currently. I sense those friends you trusted have let you down badly. Understandably that would hurt anyone, no one wants to be treated disrespectfully and unfairly. I want you know you are not alone to feel this way and I feel your sadness.
Firstly, your safety is a top priority. Please remember you are precious and your life matters above everything else. If you feel at any point in time that your emotions are overwhelming and you are losing control, please immediately call for emergency services at 995, go to the nearest A&E Dept or call the Samaritans of Singapore hotline at 1767. All these services operate 24/7. The SOS hotline connects you immediately to caring and competent counsellors who will listen to you non judgmentally.
As for the eating disorder issues, this needs attention too. You have already worked so hard to get better, please may I gently encourage you to continue taking small steps to keep up your progress?
For your safety, too, may I check if it’s possible to minimise communication with the group until you are better? Is there a trusted adult family member, teacher or school counsellor you can approach to let them know on how the group has treated you?
You fully deserve kindness and care. Please therefore reach out for support soon. I believe there are many people who care about you. Your well being is a top priority, always.