everyone says “body goals” to me, but its cos im sucking in my stomach everytime i wear smt tight. why cant i js be pretty ? i starve, sh and allat, but it doesn’t hlp. i try doing stuff thatll perhaps distract me frm sh or attemptin, but nth rly seems to work. i cant reach out to my parents, i rly dun trust them. i cant trust my friends anym, and i will NEVER tell my school counselor, they barely hlp, only tell my parents (which is sm i DONT want EVER.). so this is where id vent only. im losing too many of my frnds. its all bc of me. i cnt slp, i cnt eat, i cnt do anyt. idk wt to do anym. i js wna die.
Hi @zx.dl it sounds like a lot you’re feeling. I hear that when people say “body goals” to you, there’s this sense of inadequacy or still not being good enough.
Although there are not a lot of people you trust right now, you are important and you matter a lot. It’s painful to not be able to sleep, eat and have feelings of wanting to die and feeling alone. You shouldn’t have to go through this by yourself and you deserve to be loved and supported.
You mentioned distractions. What are some things you have done to distract yourself from sh and thoughts of dying?
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Hi @zx.dl, I’m Danial, one of the Volunteer Befrienders on this platform.
I can see that you are really struggling with this situation. You’ve shared with me that you have thoughts about killing/harming yourself.
I acknowledge the braveness in sharing these thoughts with me.
Please approach SOS or IMH immediately as they are able work through with you on these issues you are facing. To make sure you’re kept safe until you manage to get the necessary help, please approach a trusted friend/family member to highlight your struggles and to accompany you in the meantime.
Please also remove all sharp objects in your surroundings and make sure that they are kept out of sight.
Please contact any of these resources if you require immediate assistance:
SOS 24-hour Hotline: 1-767
SOS 24-hour WhatsApp Chat: 9151 1767 (Share on WhatsApp)
IMH 24-hour Mental Health Helpline: 6389 2222
mindline.sg 24-hour Helpline: 6389-2222
mindline.sg 24-hour Online Chat: Mental Health Helplines & Counselling Services in Singapore | mindline.sg
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it must be a lot to feel that, there is no pure way to reach the so-called “body goals”. every body is different and having love for yourself important! there are many things you can do to distract yourself if you do not feel comfortable talking to someone else about it. is there perhaps any past time you used to do during your free time that you could recover?
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It aches to hear that you’re struggling so much till you feel the need to hurt yourself or even end your life. I hear that there’s no one that you really trust but I’m glad you came here to share. I think @HanSolo2000 shared quite a few good resources that you can turn to for help, please do give them a look/ try. I really hope things do improves for you.
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Solve one problem at a time
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i try to js like do things i love, aka reading or taking naps, or sometimes i call and play online games with my friends. but now i js feel empty. like i dun really enjoy reading as much anym, maybe only at night before i slp then id read a book. and i cant take naps anym, bc of school. i can barely play w my frnds anym, bc im either busy w work or theyre js not free or wtv. then ofc when im js sitting lonely in my room, the thoughs come flooding bk.
thank you, but im not sure yet. i can have a look tho, not sure if id try it. maybe i will, thanks for the help : )
yeah, id play w my frnds. but idk anym, it feels like im annoying them. when i say smt in call or wtv, id most likely get ignored. but its fine ig : ( also, thanks sm for the help :3
yes i will, thank you sm <3
@zx.dl Hey, I hear you and I’m really sorry that things feel this heavy right now. It takes a lot of courage to even put all that into words, so thank you for trusting this space to share with us.
It sounds like you’ve been trying so hard — holding things in, pushing yourself, trying different ways to cope — and yet still feeling like you’re not okay. that feeling of isolation, of not being able to trust anyone around you, can make everything feel ten times harder. You’re not alone for feeling like this, even if it feels like you are.
You mentioned not wanting to tell your school counsellor because they might tell your parents — and yeah, i get why that feels scary. What you should know though is that school counsellors are trained to help, but they’re also required to act if they think you might be in danger — like hurting yourself or someone else. it’s not because they want to get you in trouble or make things worse at home — it’s actually the opposite. It’s about keeping you safe, especially when they’re not around to check in on you. It’s a rule that’s meant to protect, not punish. But i know that doesn’t always feel comforting when trust feels broken.. What you’re going through matters, and you matter too.
Regarding something to distract you, do you have any hobbies or things which made you happy recently? Maybe that’s an area to explore as a distraction while you are going through all these issues.
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hey @zx.dl, thank you so much for being brave enough to share this. i’ve been in your exact place before, dealing with body image issues, sh, unable to enjoy anything, feeling like i couldn’t confide in anyone, and generally feeling very hopeless. so i truly understand how exhausting, suffocating, and all-around awful it feels 
. i just want to say that you’re so strong for hanging on. ik first-hand how difficult that is, and i’m so proud of you. the fact that you’re still reaching for those small joys (eg. reading before bed or trying to play with your friends) shows how much you’re trying, and that’s huge 
for me, one thing that helped a lot was changing the media i consumed. i realised that seeing certain people online rlly made me feel worse about my own body, so i stopped looking at those accounts. there’s absolutely no shame in unfollowing people here – you gotta protect your peace, and anw it’s not personal!
in a similar vein, i started following people who encourage body neutrality. for me, it was easier to go from eg. “i hate how my legs look” to “these are my legs. they allow me to walk, run, and do all sorts of things”. this was a lot easier than trying to force myself to suddenly go “i love my legs !!” haha. i also found comfort in following people who view food as a source of nourishment and excitement, rather than torture or regiment. some of my favourites include Linda Sun and KarissaEats, but there are so many more. hearing them talk about food with joy and compassion helped me slowly shift the way i saw food too.
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regarding sh, i found that using a permanent marker to write / draw things on my skin was a great replacement. It kinda simulated the experience, and also gave me sth to focus on? maybe it’s partially bc i love words and drawing, but i found that looking for / thinking about quotes to write or images to draw on my skin helped distract me from my negative thoughts, and ofc the act of doing it also satisfied to a certain extent the urge to sh. the fact that it’s semi-permanent also helped.
not sure if any of these would work for you, but just thought i’d share in case something resonates. maybe you could give them a try?
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ik it doesn’t seem like it rn, but trust me, things WILL get better. please take care of yourself in the meantime and continue using this platform to express how you feel, we’re all here for you ok 
. and in case you haven’t heard this in a while: you matter. you were put on this earth for a reason, though that reason may not be apparent to you rn. you still have so many things worth living for – so many people to meet, books to read, experiences to discover, memories to make. please hold on.
i’m rooting for you.
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I’m really sorry you’re feeling this way right now, and I can hear how heavy everything feels. What you’re going through sounds incredibly difficult, and it’s understandable to feel like you’re stuck in a cycle where nothing seems to help. I want to remind you that you’re not alone in this, even if it feels like it.
You deserve to feel safe, cared for, and supported—not just on the outside, but in the way you feel about yourself, too. You are so much more than what others see, and the pain you’re carrying inside matters, too. It’s hard when you feel like you can’t trust the people around you, but there are people who can help, even if it doesn’t feel that way right now.
It sounds like you’re feeling incredibly isolated, and that alone can make everything feel even heavier. Please, if you can, try to reach out to someone who can offer the support you need—whether that’s a helpline, a therapist, or someone you might feel a little safer with. You don’t have to go through this alone, even if it feels that way right now.
If you ever feel like you need a place to vent, we’re here to listen, and I’m really glad you reached out. But please, take care of yourself in the best way you can, and consider finding someone who can help guide you through this in a healthier way. You’re worth the help, even if it feels like it’s hard to get right now.
If you’re unsure about where to start, we can help you figure that out too. Just know that you don’t have to carry this all by yourself. 
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yeah, thats a good idea, distracting myself by doing the things i love ! usually id read. its what i enjoy most ! and yeah, i understand..im not tryna say that school consellors are not tryna get me into trouble. ik theyre just here to help, but the thought of my parents knowing is just scary. so..yeahh. but thanks so much for the help, i really appreciate it. <3
hey, @pinkskies @knd !
thanks sm for both of ur replies. ill def try out that, @pinkskies ! i draw on my hand in class everytime im bored anyw, haha. you both dont know how much ur comments mean to me. thank you sm once again ! <3
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Good to know that you’re able to turn to reading! Do you have any interesting reads recently?
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no, not really since ive finished every single book i have ! i just like to re-read the old ones for fun. but theyre all pretty interesting ! i like this one book called The Rainfall Market. u should def try it out !!