hi I’m a secondary schooler and this is my first post so I hope this is a safe space. Also, there are mentions of serious topics here so I’m sorry if this isn’t the place for it. Recently, I feel like just I’m just alive, but not living, yknow? Like everything is so… unsatisfactory. I get mad at the smallest things too, and it makes me want to throw things or scream all the time. The smallest thing makes me cry, and half of the time I’ve wanted to overdose. And I can’t even focus on one thing anymore, I keep hopping from one thing to another. I’ve been clean for a few months too, but I’ve begun to scratch myself in an sh way again. I just don’t feel the motivation much anymore. my mother tries to help, but it just feels like she’s trying to help just to get me to shut, even though it’s probably not the case. I’ve been feeling like this on and off for the past few years already, getting worse each time. What should I do?
Hey @user016437,
I’m glad you decided to post here. This platform is meant to be a safer space for people to share what they are going through, and there are people here willing to listen and support where possible. You do not need to apologise for talking about serious topics.
From what you shared, it sounds like you have been carrying these feelings for quite some time already, and it also sounds tiring trying to manage everything on your own. When someone has been feeling emotionally overwhelmed for a long period of time, it can start affecting many areas at once. Small things may feel harder to tolerate, emotions become stronger, concentration gets affected, and motivation becomes lower.
I also noticed you mentioned that you had been clean for a few months before starting to scratch yourself again. That effort still matters. Sometimes self-harm behaviours return when a person is overwhelmed and struggling to regulate emotions safely. It does not erase the progress you made previously.
The thoughts and self-harm are important to take seriously though. It sounds like you may not be feeling very emotionally safe or settled right now, and because of that, support from others can become very important. Motivation and recovery can be difficult to manage alone, especially when things have been getting worse over the years. Guided support from trained professionals can help you make sense of what is happening and slowly work on coping more safely.
You mentioned your mother is trying to help, but it does not fully feel comforting to you right now. Sometimes when we are already overwhelmed, even support from people around us may not fully feel reassuring.
Apart from your mother, is there anyone else you trust or feel comfortable with? Maybe a friend, teacher, sibling, or another adult? If possible, it may help to have someone accompany you to speak with your school counsellor so you do not have to handle this alone.
If speaking to someone in person feels difficult right now, you can also contact National Mindline at 1771 to speak with someone trained to support youths through situations like this.
You already took an important first step by reaching out here instead of keeping everything to yourself.
If there are other concerns or worries on your mind, you can continue sharing here. We can try to help you take things one step at a time.