Recently, I’ve been experiencing a very drastic change in emotions/suicidality whenever i come back from a short trip/ have a really good time with friends.
I went overseas last week and went for a concert i really enjoyed, but when i came back to school, the urge to off myself was slightly more intense. And now, i js came back from a day trip with my friends that i enjoyed too, i was quite happy but when im back, the thoughts just gets louder and louder, just wanting to commit. (im not in immediate danger, is js the thoughts that are a little disturbing at the moment)
im not sure why is this so? is it because when im with friends, i put all those negative things and stress aside but now that im back, all the feelings and emotions/stressful things just comes back and hits me like a truck?
i dont know… is it because there’s a very drastic change? i dont know, i just wanna talk to someone about it
Hi there sincereseafoam977, thank you for reaching out today!
What you have described, going overseas and really enjoyed it, only to come back to feel drastic change in your emotions sounds a lot of what people would call a ‘post-high crash’. You are right to say that when you are with your friends on the trip, you put aside all those negative thoughts and stress, but when you are back, they all come rushing and pouring back which in those short period of time, will feel like a very drastic change.
It makes a lot of sense that this is happening, and it doesn’t mean the good times weren’t real or worth having. It just means the underlying pain is still there and needs proper attention. I’m wondering, have you with anyone about it before or seen a professional for support regarding your emotions? The fact that these thoughts get louder after positive experiences is actually really important information about what’s going on for you, and it’s exactly the kind of thing a therapist or psychiatrist needs to know. Not just that you have suicidal thoughts, but when they spike and what triggers them.
I also hear you on wanting to talk to someone about it, there are helplines that are designed to address those suicidal thoughts with a professional, helplines like SOS (1767)/(91511767) or if you need a listening ear/resources, you can reach out to Mindline 1771/66691771).