i’ve been having some mood swings and it’s kind of stressing me out… i already see professionals and everything and i finally found a medication that makes my depression much more stable so i don’t feel a consistent low (yay!!!) i even occasionally feel happy which is weird but awesome
but after getting rid of the consistent low whenever i have a reason to feel negatively, my mood kinda dips WAYYY down and its confusing? like EXTREMELY low… like i recently had a small conflict with a friend and it honestly wasn’t that big a deal but i got so angry and really blew up and i was feeling horrible for days… when it honestly wasn’t that big a deal… and today i was kind of late for a group project meeting and my project mates were annoyed with me (understandably their anger is very valid) but the moment i heard they were angry i got so scared and terrified i was feeling frozen and on the verge of tears… i immediately wanted to kill myself just to avoid seeing them and the feeling was quite strong… which is a very disproportionate reaction to a small thing?? i was even so visibly shaken up that my very angry groupmates later comforted me and said it was ok and said i seemed really stressed and tense about it and it looked like i was feeling a lot of regret (which is true)… they don’t even know me that well and yet they noticed and their attitude changed so much because of it? the fact that they were kind made me feel even more guilty
idk i just feel like ive been feeling much more low when smth happens and the intense suicidal thoughts are scary… like im used to consistent suicidal thoughts but when it comes on suddenly and strongly its quite scary…
does this make any sense is it normal… im quite scared and worried
honestly i was right all along everyone does hate me
Hi @crabs, thank you for reaching out again. It’s good to know that you’re able to actively seek out for support when things get tough or overwhelming.
I recall that I had shared previously shared with you about a handful of coping strategies which may be useful when you feel overwhelmed or stressed. Have you been able to practice these, and if so, how did it work out for you? Let me know!
From what you have described, it sounded like you’ve done something huge getting to a steadier place, and now these sudden, terrifying drops after small things make total sense and sound really scary. Btw, have you seen a mental health professional before? Were you on any prescriptions for support?
Quick safety check: are you thinking you might act on these urges in the next 24 hours? if yes, call SOS 1-767 or National Mindline 1771 now, or WhatsApp +65 6669 1771 for immediate support.
A couple of practical things to bring up when you get chance to speak to a mental health practitioner ASAP: describe how these spikes are sudden and intense (not just steady low), how strong the suicidal urges feel, and ask whether a med/therapy review or safety plan could help. I can’t diagnose, but this pattern of big reactive dips is exactly the sort of detail your prescriber or therapist needs to hear.
You did the hard work to get help and find something that lifts you, that’s important. Right now, the aim is one small step: ground, call someone, or call the helplines above. Hope that you are holding well.
Hey, then whenever you feel like a ping on what your thoughts are, you can always do so here, there will be others around to help look out for you as well. Stay safe!
I’d like to gently clarify something you mentioned in your original post. When you said that “everyone” hates you, could you share more about who you’re referring to? It’s important to understand how you’re feeling and who you feel this way about. From what you’ve shared, it seems you’ve been able to receive support from professionals and from the Let’s Talk community, which suggests that not everyone sees you in the way you fear.
Your pain is valid, and I don’t want to dismiss it. But I also want to help you notice the places where care and connection still exist. If you’re open to it, we can explore together what “everyone” means to you emotionally, and whether that feeling might be coming from a few painful experiences that feel overwhelming right now. You’re not alone in this.
