Hi, I just have been feeling miserably low for the past few days and I keep on having unstable relationships with my family and friends as I keep on getting avoidant with them with my constant worries and sadness as I get happy at some days but in awhile I’ll have a strange surge of anger and shows aggressive actions towards people without knowing it would hurt them. I found it hard to cope when i have been feeing depressive and angry for ages which affected my relationship with people. My boyfriend said there is something that might be wrong with me and need to be checked up but I do not know how to explain further to people who asked if I was okay. Is this normal?
Hey @user9275. It sounds exhausting to be going through that emotional rollercoaster like there’s moments of happiness, and then sudden waves of anger and sadness you didn’t see coming. I can imagine how much harder it feels when the people you care about are affected, even though you didn’t mean to hurt them.
It’s not uncommon for our emotions to shift in ways we can’t easily control, but that doesn’t make it any less distressing. It doesn’t necessarily mean there’s something “wrong” with you as a person, but it might mean your mind and body are under stress in ways that need more care and understanding.
Your boyfriend’s suggestion to get checked out doesn’t have to be a judgement; it could his a way of saying, “I care about you, and I want you to be supported.” Speaking with a counsellor or therapist could help you make sense of what’s been happening, and take some of the pressure off you to explain it all on your own.
In the meantime, if you’re open to it, here are a few things you could try to cope with sudden waves of emotion:
- Notice your triggers: When you feel anger or sadness coming on, pause and jot down what was happening right before. This can help you start spotting patterns.
- Grounding techniques: Try 5-4-3-2-1: name 5 things you see, 4 things you feel, 3 things you hear, 2 things you smell, 1 thing you taste. It can help anchor you when emotions surge.
- Micro-breaks: Take small breaks during the day to breathe deeply, stretch, or listen to a song you like, even 5 minutes can make a difference.
- Reach out safely: Have a trusted friend, your boyfriend, or online support you can message when things feel overwhelming. You don’t have to hold it all inside.
If you think about the last time your emotions changed suddenly, what was happening right before it?
I asked because many people find that getting curious about their triggers can be a first step toward understanding and managing them, and give them more space to respond differently next time.
And I just want to say this that you’ve already taken such a brave first step by sharing what’s been going on here. That shows a lot of self-awareness and care for your relationships. It means you’re already doing something to care for yourself, even if it doesn’t feel like it yet.
May you remember that it’s okay to feel all of this, and may you find little moments each day to care for yourself and your peace 
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Hey @user9275 I can tell that you are frustrated over the emotional swings you experience between happiness and anger, and are at a loss of how to control them. It may also feel difficult knowing that the actions you don’t mean to do are hurting others, making you feel guilty.
Sometimes it can be difficult for us to control our emotions, especially when they feel overwhelming and overpower everything else. It can make us feel at a loss, and start blaming ourselves. But there may be some other underlying reason at play here,
yet to be discovered.
It may be helpful to try out some methods to manage your emotions better. You can consider journaling the instances where you encounter aggressive actions, and identify the triggers so you can avoid them in the future. You can also try going out to explore Mother Nature more, and get some exercise in, to boost your moods in positive ways.
Bottling up your emotions can lead to severe outbursts over time. Find someone trusted to confide in, such as family, your boyfriend or friends whenever you feel overwhelmed by your emotions. Things tend to feel easier to get through when there’s someone by your side.
If you still feel distressed despite efforts to manage your emotional swings for weeks or months, please consider seeking advice from a professional, be it a counsellor or therapist. They would be able to provide you with a detailed examination and treatment plan to help solve your problems and make you feel better.
Please know you’re not alone in this, and feel free to reach out whenever you feel distressed, we’ll be here to hear you out! 
Hi @user9275, it sounds like your emotions have been swinging a lot lately where sometimes you feel low and withdrawn and other times anger seems to come out unexpectedly and hurts the people around you, even if that’s not your intention. I can see how that cycle would be exhausting and make it hard to maintain close relationships 
.
What you’re experiencing doesn’t make you “broken,” but it does show that you’ve been carrying emotional pain for a long time without enough support. Mood changes, especially when they’ve been going on for ages, can happen for many reasons like stress, unresolved trauma, or even underlying mental health conditions and it’s not something you have to figure out alone.
Your boyfriend’s suggestion to get checked could be a caring one. A mental health professional could help you put words to what you’ve been feeling and find ways to manage it. If you’re unsure how to explain to others when they ask, you could keep it simple, like: “I’ve been struggling with my emotions and trying to get help for it.”
You’ve already taken an important step by opening up here 
.
Dear @user9275
It is a good first step that you have written in to share how much you are going through and to question if it’s normal. I applaud your self awareness and determination to address what you are experiencing.
It does sounds like you have been feeling stuck in a repeated loop of sadness, worry, and anger for a long time. I gather that it’s been taking a toll on your relationships, and you observe that people you care about are affected the most. It’s confusing indeed to feel happy initially but then suddenly experience a surge of irritation and anger. Understandably, these swings are hard to explain to others, especially when you don’t want to hurt anyone but you do end up doing so unintentionally.
Please know that what you’re experiencing is relatively common and can be addressed. I believe emotions such as sadness, irritability, and anger normally build up when we’ve been under prolonged stress or living with underlying mental health conditions such as depression, anxiety, or mood-related disorders. These patterns can also be influenced by past experiences, unresolved hurt, or feeling emotionally unsupported over time.
What you are going through is fully valid and understandable and a strong sign to seek help. I recommend speaking to a therapist soon which I believe would help you understand what might be happening. For example, is it depression, anxiety, something mood-related, or a combination. Therapists listen non judgmentally and provide a safe space for you to also pick up techniques and strategies to manage it in ways that protect your relationships and your own well-being.
However please reach out a crisis hotline such as SOS at 1767 immediately when you detect that your feelings are become overwhelming or you’re worried you might harm yourself.
You also asked how to tell friends and loved ones. I suggest simply saying that you are going through a lot and trying to sort it out without explaining too much.
Do seek help soon dear and take tiny positive steps towards feeling better. Care for yourself such as trying out some of the techniques shared here by others who responded to your post in this forum. You are definitely not alone, so tap on help available to feel better soon.