so im shortlisted for a scholarship and i had my interview today and i felt really bad afterwards cuz i felt like i did so badly and my friend had so much better answers than me (it was a group interview) so she’s defoooo gonna get that scholarship. BUT WHAT ABOUT ME MAN WHY CANT I WIN
im so mad. also my friend was in contact with one of the lecturers there which was overseeing the interviewer, and the lec said that one of the interviewers said that we ALL did a good job yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay…
bullshit, that just feels like a lie to make us feel better. on that vein whenever someone says “you’re doing great” or “im proud of you” it just doesnt hit and feels empty, like lies. And yet i absorb all the bad things about me like a sponge. Ik im just doing this to myself but IF I HAD ANY CONTROL OVER THIS I WOULD CHOOSE NOT TO FEEL THIS WAY RIGHT?
im totally whining rn but ig idk how to feel right anymore whats wrong with me. i cant control the outcome so whats the point worrying this sucks. how are my friends so happy? this feels unfair, im crying over a “maybe” and my friends are probably sleeping peacefully right now. i suck. how do i see the good things about myself man no wonder that interview was hard i cant glaze myself for nothing >:((((
I think that beating yourself up over what the other interviewees said, and whether you get the scholarship, is being a bit too harsh on yourself.
Think about it this way: there has to be something good about you, because you got the interview for the scholarship in the first place! if there was really nothing redeeming about you, then you wouldn’t even have been selected to go for the interview.
And remember, if you don’t get selected, that *it is not your fault.*Yes, other applicants might have answered better, or look better on paper. And your feeling is valid. It is normal to feel worried over something that is out of your control. And who knows, maybe your friends are worried too?
Based on what you’ve shared, it sounds like you’re stuck in that painful post-interview spiral where your brain replays everything you said and automatically ranks you against everyone else, especially your friend. On top of that, there’s this deep frustration that you can’t control the outcome, and it’s turning into self-criticism and a sense of unfairness, like you’re already bracing for rejection and trying to make sense of it before it even happens. That can be exhausting to sit with, especially in a highly competitive process like a scholarship.
I agree with what @sugarcane2786 is getting at. Getting shortlisted already means there was probably something strong about you that stood out enough to earn that interview in the first place! Interview performance also isn’t a single “Pass or Fail” moment.
It is very normal for group interviews to feel pressurising and intimidating. Even if someone else did better in certain answers, that doesn’t erase your own strengths or mean you “lost” by default. And it makes sense that reassurance feels fake right now when you’re anxious, but the fact that you’re feeling this strongly doesn’t mean you did badly. It just means you care a lot and your brain is trying (albeit not very helpfully) to regain control over an uncertain outcome.
When you think “I did badly” or “others did better”, can I ask what made you believe that in the moment, and is there anything that might also suggest you actually did okay for the interview?
It was cuz i wasnt talking as much, or maybe i was rushing and talking in circles, i was also feeling pretty intimidated by the interviewer’s glare, like i was doing something wrong. Interviews just feel like they’re dissecting me to see if theres some sliver of good against my flaws, so its pretty nerve wracking.
I guess i only felt that i did ok when my friend was trying to convince me that I did fine cuz my cca records were solid, and the interviewers “glare” may have been them paying close attention to me. It was just so scary..