So recently, i wrote a confession about a worker at my campus cafe for calling me rude. I cursed her and called her names. Truthfully, i did that when i was angry, and didnt fully evaluate my emotions and the consenquences. As soon i hit the send button, i immediately wanted to take it back.
I was at the cafe a few hours ago, and coincidentally she was there. The other worker at the counter called her because she saw me, and she immediately interrogated me about what i wrote. She said that if i call her a ■■■■■, then i was a ■■■■■ too. I kept saying sorry, and i denied i wrote that confession in the first place.
I though to myself, i shouldnt deny it, cause its wrong and told her i did do it. I tried to apologize, but she waved me off. Its the fact that she told me i was rude and wasnt raised right, and the fact i had a test tomorrow. She probably prayed for me to fail the test.
I feel like killing myself. Im so embarrased. Everyone probably knows my name and my face.
Thank you for being so open and honest about what you are going through. It sounds like you are having a hard time navigating this situation. I am glad to hear that although it is hard, you admitted your actions and apologised for it. I don’t think it is easy but you did the right thing by braving through it.
Perhaps, at this point when things just happened, it is hard to move on for both you and her. Maybe that’s why she reacted in such a way and I sense your feelings of embarrassment as it did not turn out positively. Do give yourself some time to process this and be kind to yourself as you think about it. You were brave in owning your actions and please do not blame yourself for it.
I think it is natural for people to react in ways that are out of their control when they feel angry. I believe that was what happened for you in the first place. You did feel bad after that and reflected on it too. It is okay to make mistakes, we all do. And it is about learning from our mistakes that makes us a better person. This is something you went through and I want to remind you that you are not a bad person. You just acted on your emotions at that moment. With such intense feelings that you are experiencing right now, I am sure you would be more mindful in future. There is no need to be so harsh on yourself for it.
Also, it might be helpful to think about how you want to move forward from this incident. When you have a goal in mind, it is easier to identify the steps you need to take to reach your goals. If you are still feeling confused or flustered now, take your time to think about it. Just remember not to let your thoughts run wild and stop yourself from self-blame; it might lead you down a negative spiral making you feel bad about yourself. I don’t want you to feel even more stuck.
Do be mindful of how you speak to yourself and I hope you affirm yourself more. Here are some suggestions for you to consider when you are feeling negative about your actions:
Self-care. It can be eating and sleeping well. Having a balanced diet and being well-rested contributes to regulating mood and improving cognitive function. Take some time to engage in activities you enjoy or find ways to be good to yourself because you deserve to be treated well.
Positive self-talk: It is important how you speak to yourself. Focus more on your strengths and give affirmations to yourself. You are not the angry person and not a bad person. You have reflected on your actions, admitted and apologised as well. Be kind to yourself as you process your feelings.
Deep breathing exercises – Find a comfortable space and position yourself comfortably. Take a deep breath in while counting to 5 and breathe out counting to 5 as well. While you are breathing out, imagine that the air leaves with your stress and tension. Stay focused on your breathing and cast aside other thoughts. Repeat until you feel better.
Grounding exercises – A five-step exercise (5-4-3-2-1) can help to ground you in the present when you are feeling anxious.
You would need to engage your 5 senses (like 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can smell, 2 things you can hear, 1 thing you can taste).
Ok so you wrote a confession in the heat of the moment. Maybe next time you should try to avoid these confession pages because you cant trust em. Mindline is trustable though!
From your story, you sent a negative post so it would have received negative feedback.
It was kinda wrong of you to expose her publicly like that, but she was also wrong because she directly interrogated you as if you were some lowlife.
I wanna say that you have every right to feel that way because she also did something in the heat of the moment. To be fair though, both of you must be young adults or perhaps youths and you two should have settled this in a more mature way. You must have felt so so bad about having bad luck especially for a test. But i assure you, it’s not her. You were just feeling so low that you didnt do so well for your exam. Before taking an exam, your mental health also matters as it affects your peformance. For now, crying over spilt milk wont help. You should be happy that this is over that she didnt do anything worse to your precious self.
Im glad youre still here, alive and well. Dont let her get to you. I think you’re a sensitive person which is so adorable because your post shows you care about her feelings and felt a teeny bit guilty for what you did.
Please don’t let a small setback bring you down. Your life is worth more than you know. You deserve to experience life in its sweetness and bitterness because you are strong. This experience only leaves you stronger as a human being. I appreciate you sharing this post and try to think carefully before confessing next time around! That’s Important! Especially on social media.