No one said it was easy but I didn’t expect grieving could be this hard. Everyday is like a battle and everyday the feelings changes. Its definitely unpredictable. Somedays, I feel “normal”, in a way I’m less sad, my mind not spiralling and i could start on my work, engage with people and have some conversations and laughter. But when sadness comes, I can’t seems to focus and everything in me just shuts down. I don’t want to be with people, I can get very quiet and the things that I enjoy doing, doesn’t seems to interest me. Whenever I cried thinking of my loved one, it takes me very long to be back to “normal”. I can sense the people around me gets confused and I’m confused too.
Anyone going through grief, does it get easier? Will you ever feel like how u were before? Will it get better?
Thank you for reaching out. Your honest and open sharing about your personal journey strikes a chord and resonates with many of us. Please know you are not alone.
What you’re experiencing is grief, and I have seen and experienced how hard it is. Yes, indeed there are good days where we feel almost okay and normal and days everything comes crashing down. Grief is typically experienced in waves similar to the ups and downs you described.
I believe that it does get easier over time but not all at once, and not in a straight line. Everyone experiences it differently and at their own pace. I have experienced and observed that the waves may usually become less intense and don’t last as long. We don’t stop missing your loved one, but the pain slowly becomes more manageable.
You may not feel exactly like the person you were before. Instead, many people find a new normal, one where they can still feel sadness, but also laugh, focus, and enjoy things again without it always falling apart afterward.
Nothing is wrong with you for needing time to recover after crying, or for pulling away from people on harder days. Your mind and body are trying to protect you.
Do keep reaching out whenever needed for any additional support. Sending you warmth and care.
Hey @user6346, i hear you! The emotions you described definitely hit close to home for me, and i’m sure others will resonate too. I heard this analogy from a show I’m watching, it goes “grief is not a weapon, grief is grief, it’s a hole that can never be filled but eventually it will shrink enough so that you won’t fall in every time you step on it”. Your post definitely reminded me of this in the sense that there are many ups and downs, grief is not linear, but soon you will adjust and it’s impact on you will lessen over time. I know its hard, but please take the time to indulge in extra self care on the days that you do feel okay! Please reach out for support if needed! Take care
Hey @user6346 I really hear how lonely this can feel, not just because you’re grieving, but because the people around you seem unsure of how to respond, and that uncertainty can leave you feeling even more alone in it. It makes sense that you’d feel confused when what’s happening inside you keeps shifting.
When grief comes and you go quiet or withdraw, it doesn’t mean you don’t care about connection, it may mean you’re needing a different kind of presence than before. One that doesn’t ask you to explain or be “okay.”
I don’t think grief ever fully disappears, but I’ve found that it slowly shifts. The sadness still comes, just not as overwhelming as it was in those early days. I lost someone really important to me a few years back, and while it still hurts when I think of them, it’s different now, more manageable than it was at the start. I hope knowing this brings you a bit of comfort as you’re not alone in this, and it won’t always feel this raw.
You don’t have to rush yourself or try to get back to who you were before. Some days, simply acknowledging how hard today is can be enough.
I hope you can take things at your own pace and trust that there’s no “right” way to grieve. One step, one day at a time is more than enough
hi!! speaking from someone who spent their last few months grieving :,)) i can assure you that it doesn’t get easier to deal with grief, but with time, the chokehold and stronghold that grief has on you loosens. grief grows you in unexpected ways and teaches you strength and resilience, you start to learn things in a different light and have a newfound appreciation of them. quoted by wanda vision, “grief is love, persevering.” - it doesn’t bring them back nor does it make the situation better, but being able to grieve hard because i have so much love for someone makes me feel alive. i hope you know thay you are never alone and that there are people who feel with you, and are here to encourage you!
Hey there, I’m really sorry you’re going through this. What you’re describing is such a real, human experience of grief, and it’s not a sign that you’re doing anything wrong. Grief isn’t steady or logical; it comes in waves, and the unpredictability can be exhausting and confusing, even to yourself.
To answer your questions: for many people, it does get lighter with time, but it’s not gone, not forgotten, but more manageable. You may not feel exactly like who you were before, but that doesn’t mean you’ll never feel okay again. You slowly grow around the grief, and the waves don’t knock you down as often or as hard.
It’s okay to have days where you shut down. It’s okay to take a long time to feel “normal” again. Be gentle with yourself. You’re grieving because you loved deeply, and that matters:)
When I got the news of my friend’s demise, I was shocked. At first, I couldn’t identify how I was feeling. I continued with my day-to-day activities. But once my parents returned home after attending the funeral, I just couldn’t control my emotions, and poured them out. Till now, I cannot seem to accept the fact that she’s no more. Though, when fond memories pop up, it’s like a bitter pill. I am not the only one grieving, different people in my friends circle grieve differently. Even as I draft this post, I’m tearing…
One way I use is to convert the grief into a source of grit. My friend passed on due to a health ailment at a very young age. So I would want to make my friend feel proud of us being successful if she were to be amongst us.
It’s a highly personal process of grieving. There is no right or wrong, so take your time to explore. We are here, if you need us.
