Greif/emotions

Ask a Therapist Is This Normal?
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i dont feel anything when something or a pet dies, literally no emotion and i go on with my life like nothing happened, everytime i go to a funeral like my grandparents for eg. I always have to fake crying to make sure people dont think im cold hearted. But when skmething unimportant happens like losing my pen for eg. I cry for like 10 minutes. If i make a mistake or get corrected, even if the person taking to me isnt even mad or yelling at me, i tear up so badly… i dont know if this is normal

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Hi @Yippee

Thank you for reaching out and sharing your thoughts and feelings with us on this platform. It takes a lot of courage to be so open in sharing and I appreciate that you are reaching out.

It sounds like you have been through a couple of losses in your life and I wonder if it is your body’s way of coping with these losses. Sometimes, the passing of a loved one can be emotionally overwhelming and it could lead the living ones to be in a state of denial/shock or disbelief. It could be a protective mechanism to protect you from experiencing the full impact of the grief.

Being stuck in that state might result in numbing of senses, thus the lack of emotion to process. Do know that unprocessed emotions can get stuck in our bodies and it comes out in various ways. Perhaps, in your case, it is crying over things you described as unimportant. I am not sure if you needed to be strong for your parents or relatives, thus this happens. But I would like to commend you on trying so hard to be strong for them.

Another reason might be due to cultural aspects, upbringing or observation of other people in your family. Through our understanding of how different people expresses themselves, there could be a possibility that you have learned to suppress your emotions during such circumstances. Naturally, when the body feels the need to release, those smaller or less significant events becomes a channel for you to express your emotions(maybe it feels safer also).

Understanding your body in its unique way of processing emotions would be helpful so you can get appropriate support. Do know that you are normal and you can feel emotions, that’s why you cry when some things happen. Let it out in its own pace, do try not to doubt yourself so much.

If possible, you may consider reaching out to a family member or a friend who you can trust to talk to and provide you with appropriate support. If you find it challenging to talk to your family or others directly or if you need additional support, you may also consider reaching out to a mental health professional like a counsellor or online platforms. They can provide a safe space for you to explore healthy ways to work around your emotions.

Here are some platforms you can consider:

  1.   Limitless - https://www.limitless.sg/talk

  2.  IMH CHAT - https://www.imh.com.sg/CHAT/Pages/default.aspx

  3.  Singapore Association for Mental Health (SAMH) - 1800-283 7019

I hope this is helpful. Do take care.

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Hi @Yippee! Don’t worry too much about not reacting the “normal” way to grief. Everyone has their own experiences when it comes to handling loss and it is okay to feel that way :smile:. For me, when I experience grief, I tend to laugh a lot and that helps me to cope better. Of course, I am not a professional so take my words with a pinch of salt!

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