Hi everyone!
I recently came across an article that left me feeling incredibly burdened. It’s about a 21-year-old man, Sylesnar Seah, who fatally attacked his abusive father after years of torment. The father had been taunting him and his mother for years, and Seah eventually snapped. After the incident, Seah was diagnosed with “other specified depressive disorder” or OSDD.
You can read the article here.
As someone who works with clients in distress, this situation weighs heavily on me. Abuse, whether physical or emotional, leaves deep scars, and the outcomes can be catastrophic if no intervention is made early on. It makes me wonder: Could I have seen the signs had I been a friend or neighbor? Could anyone have recognized what both Seah and his father were going through before it reached such a tragic end?
In Seah’s case, he had been taunted and abused for years. His mother, too, was a victim. There’s a lot to unpack emotionally when you consider the dynamics between abusers and their victims and how the mental health of both can be affected in different ways. Seah eventually acted out in a way that no one wanted, but could someone have intervened earlier?
What about the father? Clearly, he was also in deep emotional turmoil if he felt the need to lash out at his family in such a cruel manner. His behavior stemmed from unresolved issues, but would we have been able to spot the signs of mental distress in him, too?
I’d love to hear your thoughts on this:
- Would you have noticed the signs and symptoms of both Seah and his father?
- How would you have approached the topic of seeking help for both parties, considering the power dynamics and fear involved in abusive relationships?
It’s so important that we become more aware of the signs of abuse and the mental health conditions that often go unnoticed until it’s too late. I’d really appreciate any thoughts you may have on how you would handle such situations.
Looking forward to the discussion.
Hi everyone!
You know, it’s heartbreaking to think about the years of torment Sylesnar Seah and his mother endured, and the tragic way this cycle of violence ended. Abuse often traps people in cycles of fear and shame, making it hard for anyone—neighbors, friends, or even professionals—to know how or when to intervene.
The question of whether the signs of distress could have been recognized beforehand is a difficult one because abuse can be hidden behind closed doors, and abusers often mask their own emotional struggles. In these kinds of cases, reaching out and offering help may feel intimidating, especially when power dynamics and fear are involved.
But I think conversations like this one can help us become more aware of the signs that something isn’t right, and how to support both victims and abusers in seeking the help they need before things escalate. This also reminds me that his father’s mental health is a reminder that abuse often comes from a place of deep personal pain.
Our question for the day:
How do we balance respecting boundaries with our instincts that something might be wrong? Would you intervene if you sensed someone was silently suffering from abuse or mental health struggles, even if they hadn’t explicitly reached out for help?
I’d love to hear your thoughts and experiences on navigating these tough situations.
To answer your question: I wish I did.
As a neighbour I think I’ve been taught since young not to interfere with others’ personal matters because my family is problematic and if we’re nosy it might also invite others to want to know about ours.
I’m wondering if the difficulty men sometimes face due to toxic masculinity exacerbated this: simply due to lacking the vocabulary and capability to healthily ventilate all that has been going on in a safe way, to a safe avenue
That being said, this person is similar in age to me and I remember growing up in a time where literacy in mental health and domestic violence was not at all common. And help-seeking was laden with a lot of “what’s wrong with you?” or shame.
I can’t help but be scared that they chose to resort to extreme violence but if there was a chance and a safe space, I would have loved to lend a listening ear
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