In my adolescence and young adulthood currently, I have been experiencing a lot of self-doubts and poor self-concept. For example, recently I was reminded of my experience as an EXCO member in my polytechnic CCA. It was not the best experience, because despite taking on more senior roles within the CCA, I made a lot of mistakes like overstepping role boundaries or having severe careless oversights. As a senior EXCO it was embarrassing to have more junior members to tell me off about certain things, resulting in me not having the best relationship with some of them. One of them always sent passive aggressive messages to me and always acted aloof during face-to-face meetings. I believe some of the EXCOs also told their other friends about the mistakes I made. It feels bad to know that there are people out there who dislikes you. Though the incidents happened years ago, I sometimes do think about them from time to time and reflected how I might have been insensitive or incompetent. Though I have been taking time to reflect and grow from my mistakes, I cannot help but compare to my friends who are very competent and level-headed. Sometimes I think of myself as someone with more weaknesses than strengths, and hence making me a bad person. This extreme and dichotomous thinking is disturbing. At times I also think that these thoughts are unfair to myself, because during other group projects or leadership experiences, I generally receive positive feedback about my diligence, initiative, and competence; and other people have also praised me for my strengths in other areas. This particular CCA experience particularly haunts me and brought out my worst. Was wondering if anyone faced similar circumstances? How were yâall able to navigate these negative self-talk?
Hi @claire_123, thanks for reaching out again 
Before I respond, I notice that you created two posts with the same title. Could you let me know which is the updated one, so that I can respond to that specific post? Thanks a lot! 
hi sorry! i am new here so i did not know you could see the two posts! this is the updated one thank you!
Okay, thanks for clarifying! Hereâs my reply:
I just want to say that itâs completely okay to feel overwhelmed. Balancing a CCA and academic studies is no small task, and the weight of both can feel incredibly heavy at times.
Being an EXCO member means carrying a lot of responsibility, often leading and supporting others while still trying to manage your own needs. Speaking from personal experience, being a CCA leader is a huge undertaking, especially when youâre also handling assignments, group projects and assessments. Itâs admirable, but itâs also exhausting. And itâs perfectly human to feel stretched thin and burnt out.
Leadership can be empowering, but it can also be lonely. It asks a lot of your time, your energy, and your heart. So if youâre feeling tired, uncertain, or even guilty for struggling, please know that those feelings donât make you weak or selfish. They make you real.
To answer your question, you are not a bad person. You are doing your best, and that is enough. Your struggles are valid, and so is your need for rest, support, and kindness - from others, and from yourself.
And most importantly, remind yourself that YOU matter! 
Hey @claire_123. It sounds like youâve been really hard on yourself about this. I just want to say that making mistakes in leadership, especially when youâre still figuring things out and juggling so many responsibilities, doesnât make you a bad person. It just means you were learning. And sometimes learning is messy.
What Iâm hearing is someone who reflects, who cares about how they impact others, and who genuinely wants to grow. That already show so much character. Try to remember, the people who seem âcompetent and level-headedâ now also had their own awkward, mistake-filled moments in their lives. So, youâre not alone in this.
And from what youâve shared, youâve also received plenty of feedback that you are competent, diligent, and thoughtful. That tells me this one experience doesnât define you. It was a moment in time, not your whole story.
Maybe one way forward is to see that CCA chapter as a âteacherâ rather than a âsentence.â You learned from it, youâve grown from it, and thatâs a strength you carry forward.
Wishing you gentleness with yourself as you continue learning and growing. You deserve to see the good in you too, okay? 
Dear @claire_123
Thank you for reaching out. I can sense that you are reflective and seeking ways to manage negative self talk that is currently hurting your self esteem and self worth. This self reflection is already a positive step forward in your journey towards becoming a better leader and person, so well done!
Both @Obi_Wan_Kenobi and @ScribblingSunflower have shared good and helpful insights.
Adding on, to better manage negative self talk and reduce its grip, it may help to know that the human mind is wired to more likely generate automatic negative thoughts. When a past memory is triggered, the mind tends to focus on the âbad newsâ aspect of it, telling us thoughts such as I am a bad person. It is normal for us to dwell on those negative thoughts and by focusing on them, these thoughts are perceived as âtruthsâ .
However we can reduce the grip of this thought on us by practising mindfulness of our thoughts and firstly acknowledging that this is just a thought. Say, â my mind is having the thought that I am a bad personâ. By doing so, we put some distance between the thought and ourselves, and this will slowly loosen the negative thoughts grip on us. Then mindfully come back to the present moment and focus on what we are currently doing instead of getting caught up in the mind.
I encourage you to engage a counsellor to learn and practise in a safe space techniques such as the one I shared above. With practice, you will be able to let the thoughts be, and not pay attention to these thoughts, much like a radio chattering away in the background. Acceptance and self compassion towards yourself may also help.
Please continue reaching out here whenever you need a safe space as you journey forward. Keep going by taking small steps towards your goals knowing you are not alone. 
Sorry what is EXCO? Is it a govt post? Im in private sector. Sorry that u have such bad experience⊠in my first jobs at Smes i encountered same thing
EXCO (in the context of co-curricular activities in school) stands for Executive Committee.
This refers to the core group of people within the student organisation, which is in charge of administration, leadership and planning (e.g. Finance Director, Programmes Lead, Logistics Head, President and so on).
@claire_123 Ok a peer explained what is EXCO. u said One of them always sent passive aggressive messages to meâ that was a very rude response to get, if that unhappy they should voice out directly and in a better way. i was nev in leadership position, but ive gotten P.A types of remarks before. u have choice whether to confront or not, but it prove they lack respect. So can disregard