Am I doing okay?

Ask a Therapist Is This Normal?
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Hello. I am in my current job for about 9 months+ and I am feeling sick and tired of this role. When I first joined, I overthink a lot, as this job is quite different from my others previously. It is more strict at certain points. And when I was about one month in, I had gastric pain as I am always worried about my job way too much. I tried to calm myself down but it is difficult to do so. I overthink, always worrying whether I am on the right track, am I doing well? What do other colleagues and bosses think about me? I am also an introvert, I tend not to speak a lot unless necessary. I dislike people who like to give a lot of inputs at work because I feel it’s “noise”. I am the type of “executor” colleague where I would just want to work on my things quietly, and try my best to avoid last minute work. As an overthinker, I tend to think of a lot of worse case scenarios for the tasks I’m doing. Like imposter syndrome, I often think I am not good enough. I found myself shooting my own ideas too. I kept thinking the worse like “I think my boss would think that I’m not doing well.” “What if he keeps asking me to change the things I’ve done?” Towards the end of last year, I found myself really hated work. Because of the poor management, we always need to bear with the workload, and messiness.

Around the same time, I had a newcomer that joined my team. I was also assigned as his “buddy” even though I was just still quite new, about 6 months in back then. I onboarded him to the best of my ability, but it’s been a few months so far and he is learning really slow, and not observant enough. It felt like I had to spoonfeed him a lot, which I really dislike. I am not sure if I just feel frustrated by his repeated questions sometimes. And because of my bandwidth, I really want to cut off as much communications as possible. Sometimes, I do feel abit bad and would check in more, but also on other days I really need time to myself and tend to moody.

This year, my team reshuffled and my new boss is the type to assign a big project and then the rest is for you to figure it out on your own - timeline, what are the steps to move forward etc. For me, I’m also rushing against time, as my project was given a tight timeline. I think in my team, I am the busiest so far. The amount of workload distributed is quite unfair. I have many mini tasks, and this wasn’t my only project. I had weekly check ins with the newcomer ever since he came in and only decided to stopped last week because I thought he needs to be on his own, partly also because I’m so done. I brought these issues up to my reporting boss, so that my concerns are heard.

Like I mentioned, l dread to go to work everyday. I feel really pressured and even dreaming about work almost everyday. I am at the stage where I’m also shutting people off at work, and outside of work. (Sometimes, I am also facing some issues with my family too.) Right now, I think I’m at the stage of protecting my peace. And I am not sure if I’m doing okay.. I am still panicking a lot at work, as much as I really don’t want to care

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Dear @user170324

Thank you for sharing this. I believe many among us can certainly relate to what you are experiencing.

I observe you have been going through a lot of pressure. That may be contributing to feelings of anxiety, overthinking, physical discomfort, and dreading work. I believe you are most likely displaying signs of being overloaded and burnt out.

You come across as someone who cares about doing things well, you prefer clarity, and work best quietly at your own pace. Hence you are feeling drained as you are currently in a disorganised and high-pressure environment with unclear instructions and expectations. I sense that to cope, you have been pulling back, limiting communication, and “protecting your peace”.

May I suggest a few small steps that can help you start feeling better, without needing to change everything at once:

1. Reduce mental pressure, not just workload

Instead of asking “Am I doing well?”, shift to “What is clearly expected of me right now?”
When tasks are unclear, write a short plan or timeline and align with your boss. This helps stop your mind from spinning and clarifies expectation, reducing doubt and vagueness.

2. Contain overthinking little by little

To reduce overthinking, focus on making marginal progress in reducing it over time. I recommend setting aside a short “worry window” each day or writing your thoughts down to get them out of your head. When fears come up, gently ask yourself, “What evidence do I actually have today that this fear is justified?”bring yourself to the present moment instead of being caught up in your mind and ruminating. This will take practice and patience so be kind to yourself.

3. Set energy boundaries

It’s perfectly acceptable to limit extra check-ins, reduce unnecessary conversations, and focus on essential work only. You are justified to protect your energy.

4. Aim for ‘good enough’

Right now, doing your job reasonably well is enough. You do not need to prove your worth or anticipate every worst-case scenario.

5. Take your stress seriously

Since your stress is showing up physically and emotionally, consider talking to a counsellor. Processing what is happening, examining thinking patterns and learning healthy coping strategies will help improve your wellbeing and quality of life. Allocate time daily with loved ones and do enjoyable activities that help you decompress.

I encourage you to seek support and start to establish boundaries as first steps towards recovery and improved wellbeing. You fully deserve it. :yellow_heart:

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