I used to love my work. I woke up each day and strutted in there with a purpose. Now, I am barely being able to deal with it all. I feel anxious all the time, I just want to hide away from people and just coast through the day. I respond to the mails and get things done but the problem is I feel worried before each thing i send and review everything a 100 times. The worst thing about all this I constantly leave my wife to deal with so much not cause I want to but cause I cant do it the way she needs me to because my mind is all over the place and then the action of trying to do it causes me to feel anxious. I dont even give my beautiful baby as much time as I should. I am beyond exhausted and I dont even know why.
Hi there, thank you so much for sharing about what you’re going through. I hear that there’s feelings of anxiety, that is showing up in work, but also in your interactions with your family. And that this was something different from how things used to be?
It is distressing to go through these changes. The feeling of anxiety is uncomfortable and can be scary. These feelings are valid. It doesn’t mean that there’s something wrong with you, but it might mean that your body and brain is signalling about an unmet need that has gone unnoticed — but now it is trying to make itself known. I’m wondering if there was any trigger to this period of anxiety that you can identify that might help figure out what this is?
Ultimately, if it is affecting you greatly, I do encourage you to seek out professional support. Again it doesn’t mean that there’s something wrong with you, it just means that you’re taking those first steps to try and improve the situation and reduce those feelings of anxiety — for yourself and for those you care about too 
I hope this reply helps
Hello, thank you for sharing your immense emotions about being a new dad. First off, congrats for having a kid. It is definitely a new journey but a challenging one, it is understandable how you feel. What I am glad is that you are still willing to provide for your family and that you care that your wife has a ton on her shoulders as well.
I remembered I had to take care of my brother, my studies and the household chores while my parents are at work. I felt overwhelmed but I know complaining would not be the solution as they have it worst. The only thing I did was to take things one thing at a time. I ensure in the morning I do my the house chores and in the afternoon I study or do tasks that needed the least brain effort such as reading my textbook or emailing my professors . In the evening, when I feel very energetic, I would do the work that is heavily and cognitively loaded. Sometimes during the weekends, I play catch up either on rest or on work. I do feel that prioritising task is important and is something I embrace. At the end of the day, I know I did my best and I would not have regrets about tasks left undone 
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hey @user2706,
i think there is a version of you that felt clear and certain. yet it sounds like surviving. doing just enough while everything inside feels loud… or sometimes just blank.
and reviewing things a hundred times, sounds awfully scared. like getting it wrong might undo everything. no wonder you’re this tired. not just sleep-tired, but like your system’s been running too hot for too long.
if we stayed with that part, the one that remembers how things used to feel—what would it say?
the guilt part… yah, that feels honest. not from failure, but from caring. like you want to be there for your wife and baby, and that wanting hurts more when you can’t move with it.
would it feel possible to tell her what you wrote here? not everything, just maybe the part about trying, and not knowing how.
Hey @user2706 I’m really sorry you’re feeling this way. It sounds incredibly overwhelming and exhausting to go from loving your work to feeling anxious and drained every day. It’s totally understandable to feel worried and stuck when your mind is all over the place, and it takes a lot of strength to keep pushing through even when you don’t feel at your best.
It’s also completely normal to feel frustrated or guilty about not being able to show up for your wife and baby the way you want to. That just shows how much you care. But please remember, you’re doing your best in a tough moment, and it’s okay to need time to heal and find balance.
Have you considered talking to someone like a therapist or counsellor? Sometimes getting some support can help unpack all these feelings and find ways to manage the anxiety and exhaustion. You don’t have to do this alone. Your well-being matters, and taking care of yourself is important—not just for you, but for your family too.
You’re not failing. You’re facing a really hard patch, and that’s okay. Hang in there, better days are coming!
Hey there!
I could feel how overwhelmed you are and frankly, I relate so much to what you’ve shared - it’s such a common predication people find themselves in! So thank you for putting your struggles down in words because another person out there can see and know they are not alone in this.
It’s really good that you managed to state all the things that are causing you anxiety and exhaustion. One thing that stood out is that there isn’t a particular trigger event and it seems like the anxiety and worry is coming from a deeper place.
As some users here have mentioned, a good way to unearth this source of anxiety would be to talk to a mental health professional!
I thought @Heretohelp made a really good point about prioritization as well. Just thinking out loud - do you feel the need to be everywhere at once, for everybody at the same time? Oftentimes we don’t have to! What could be useful is recognizing that we truly only have 24h a day, and there’s a very real limit to what we can do at any one time.
I encourage you to also sound out or have chats with people at work and at home to realistically understand what the expectations are on us - rather than imagining it. We can also actively communicate our boundaries, whether it’s at work or at home (I know it can be hard!) so that we can fully show up in our roles as an employee, or husband, or father
Finally, we cannot show up for others if we don’t first take care of ourselves! Please do take time each day to care for your own health and emotional needs, even if it’s just an hour or two. You’ll be surprised at the difference it makes!
Take care and we are here for you! 
Hi @user2706
It sounds like you’ve been carrying a heavy load both at work and at home. Going from feeling confident in your job to feeling anxious and second‑guessing yourself at every step can be such a difficult shift. I can relate to how you are feeling as I also feel the need to recheck everything I write multiple times before sending it as well.
The guilt you feel about not being as present for your wife and baby shows just how much you care. It’s not that you don’t want to be there but that your mind is already running at full speed, and that leaves little room for anything else. That kind of mental exhaustion can make even simple things feel like huge tasks.
It’s okay to acknowledge that you’re not functioning at your old pace right now. Your worth isn’t tied to how much you can get done or how perfectly you can show up. Sometimes, the most caring thing you can do for your loved ones is to take small steps toward looking after yourself, even in the middle of all this.
If it helps, I want to suggest you to try breaking things down into smaller, more manageable actions; which can allow yourself moments of rest without guilt. Even small pauses can help you feel steadier. The fact that you are actively trying to show up for your family and at work during a hard time for you matters more than you may realise.
Please know that you are not alone and feel free to reach out whenever you need any support.