I’m constantly comparing myself to others, even when I know I look good I still feel awful. I swing from loving myself and thinking “I’m so good-looking” and then the next moment hating the way my face looks 
It’s been really obvious when I reflect on my actions recently, I’ve been asking random people on reddit if I’m ugly when I know I’m not… I’m unsure if I’m even insecure or just being a real ■■■■■■■ and fishing for compliments to feed my egoistical self 
Hi @User35791,
First off, I want to say that your feelings are completely valid, and the fact that you’re reflecting on them shows a lot of self-awareness. It sounds like you’re caught in a cycle of self-comparison, where even moments of confidence get clouded by doubt. That emotional whiplash - feeling great one moment and then questioning yourself the next - can be really exhausting. You’re not being a bad person for wanting reassurance; a lot of people seek external validation when they’re struggling with self-image. You’re navigating complex emotions, and that doesn’t make you selfish or attention-seeking . It makes you human.
If you wish to speak to someone on how to navigate these emotions, you can approach the following resources. These are publicly funded and are accessible free-of-charge:
Community Intervention Team: SupportGoWhere
Community Outreach Team: SupportGoWhere
Other Mental Health Services: https://www.mindline.sg/mental-health-service-providers/start
Best regards,
HanSolo2000
Befriender | let’s talk by mindline
Dear @User35791
Thank you for being open and honest — I believe it was difficult to write what has happened. However, the fact that you’re able to reflect on your feelings so clearly already shows a lot of self-awareness, even if things feel confusing right now.
What you’re going through is something a lot of people experience, but rarely talk about out. That back-and-forth between moments of confidence and then suddenly feeling like you’re not good enough? That doesn’t mean something’s wrong with you. It just means you’re human — someone who’s trying to understand themselves while living in a world that constantly encourages comparison and self-doubt.
You’re not shallow, and you’re definitely not being selfish or attention-seeking. When you ask others how you look — even if a part of you knows the answer — it might be less about needing compliments and more about wanting reassurance, especially when your own self-talk gets really loud or uncertain. That’s completely okay. You’re not doing anything “wrong” by needing that.
It’s also okay to enjoy how you look sometimes and still have moments of insecurity — those two things can co-exist. It doesn’t make you fake or overly focused on appearance; it just means you’re trying to hold onto something steady while your confidence shifts.
If you’re feeling stuck in this cycle or if it’s affecting how you see yourself over time, it might help to talk to someone like a counsellor. Not because you’re broken — but because you deserve support in building a kinder, more stable relationship with yourself. The counsellor can help you explore where these feelings come from and how to feel more grounded in your self-worth, no matter what your reflection or other people say.
Remember to be gentle with yourself and take small steps forward as you navigate the situation. 
Hi @User35791 ,
Thank you for sharing this. It sounds like you’re stuck in a really exhausting cycle of self-doubt and validation-seeking, and I want you to know that your feelings are completely valid.
The way you swing between confidence and harsh self-criticism suggests that your self-esteem might be fragile right now, as if it depends on external opinions or fleeting moments of reassurance. The fact that you’re aware of this pattern shows that you’re not “fishing for compliments” but rather genuinely trying to make sense of these conflicting feelings. It might help to ask yourself: What am I really looking for when I seek validation? Is it comfort? Certainty? A way to quiet the inner critic? Recognizing that can be the first step toward breaking the cycle.
This back-and-forth doesn’t make you “egoistical”, it is a reminder that you are human. We all have moments of craving external validation, especially in a world that constantly pushes us to compare ourselves to others. But the more you rely on outside opinions, the louder the doubt can become. Try redirecting that energy inward: When you catch yourself spiraling into comparison, pause and list three things your body or face “does” for you (e.g., “My smile connects me to others”). Over time, this can help shift your focus from how you look to how you feel. If this feels overwhelming, consider talking to a therapist. They can help you unpack why this pattern exists and how to build a steadier sense of self-worth. You deserve to feel at peace in your own skin, even on the messy days. Best of luck 
-miloluvr