Am I really THE problem?

[cottonsoul]

Hi everyone,

Have you ever found yourself wondering, “Is it me?” Maybe you’re struggling with friendships, family issues, school, or work, and no matter what you do, things don’t seem to go right. It’s easy to start thinking that you might be the common denominator.

But here’s my encouragement to us all - life IS complicated. Not every challenge means you’re the problem! Sometimes, external factors like stress, mismatched expectations, or other people’s actions play a huge role too.

And also, at the same time, self-reflection is important: Are there patterns in your reactions or decisions that might be making things harder for you? Or are you just being too hard on yourself?

It’s okay to ask these questions, but don’t let them turn into self-blame Growth comes from understanding both what’s within your control and what isn’t.

So, how do you tell the difference between personal responsibility and circumstances beyond your control?

[cottonsoul]

Hey again, everyone!

Last time, we talked about wondering, “Is it me?”—that tough question we sometimes ask when things don’t seem to go right. Today, let’s take it a step further: How do you actually tell the difference between personal responsibility and external circumstances?

Here’s a simple way to start:

Look for patterns. If the same challenges keep showing up in different areas of life, it might be worth reflecting on what role (if any) you’re playing. But if it’s happening in just one situation, external factors could be at play.

Check your self-talk. Are you holding yourself accountable in a way that leads to growth, or are you slipping into self-blame and shame? Growth feels empowering - blame feels defeating.

Ask for perspective. Sometimes, we’re too close to a situation to see it clearly. A trusted friend, mentor, or therapist can help you see what’s yours to own and what isn’t.

The truth is, life is a mix of both personal responsibility and outside influences. The key is learning when to adjust and when to give yourself grace!

What are some ways you’ve learned to find that balance? Let’s talk!