Recently I been very stressed as my exams are coming up. So like I usually will be alittle more anxious about things and usually need to rant about more often to my friends. But idk why recently they have been ignoring me and lol I dnt have anyone to rant to. So now I’m like even more stressed. Last time when I rant to my friend she told me that I shld go and see a therapist as she is worried that I have depression since I got suicidal thoughts but I’m like scared to like tell anyone. So she offered to tell my teachers ( we r classmates ) but I’m also very scared that they will like approach my parents and I dnt rly wan my parents to know. But while ranting today, I was like very upset w myself cus there this girl who I really hate as she always make me feel left out and bullies me, and I heard from my friend that she likes the same K-pop group as me ( skz ) and she also bias the same person. Tbh when I heard this I felt v angry. But then later when I got to sleep I was like overthink and was wondering what is wrong w me cus why do I hate people who have the same interest as me and everything. Then I started hating myself. Anyways lately I been gaining a lot weight and I am very irritated by it. I wan to start fasting but I can’t as I do sports. But the thing is I wan to quit. However my mom will not let me as she feels like I need to finish what I have started. But I rly hate my coach as well. Then now I feel like why do I hate so many people. Like why and like what did they even do. Then I like start questioning myself. And also my grades r not the best. So I’m also stressed by it. But I dnt actually know how to let out my stress so I usually Jst bottle it up. But recently I dnt think I can bottle up for much longer but even if I do explode I WILL get scolded for not being able to control my emotions and being overly dramatic. Anyways I wan to die cus it seems like the best way for me. Idk if I’m jst overwhelmed or smt but i rly dnt think I can take this for much longer. Now the problem is I don’t have anyone to share my problems which as most of my “friends” are very judgmental but those who r not r like studying for their exam.
Hi @mapledreamers,
Thank you for reaching out and sharing what you’re going through. It sounds like you’ve been carrying a lot of heavy feelings lately, and it’s understandable that you’re feeling overwhelmed. I want you to know that your feelings are valid, and it’s okay to feel the way you do.
It’s really tough when you feel like you have no one to talk to, especially when everything seems to be piling up at once. Exams, body image, friendships, and feeling misunderstood are all big challenges on their own, and dealing with them all together can feel impossible.
I noticed that you mentioned having suicidal thoughts. This is really important, and I want you to know that there are people who can help you through this, even if it feels scary to reach out. It’s okay to feel scared about telling someone, but your safety is the most important thing right now. You deserve support, and you don’t have to go through this alone.
You’re not alone in feeling angry or frustrated when you see others who share the same interests as you, especially if you’ve had negative experiences with them. It’s normal to feel conflicted about this, and it doesn’t make you a bad person. It just means you’re human, and you’re trying to navigate a lot of complicated emotions.
It sounds like you’ve been trying to hold everything in for a long time, but you’re also aware that you can’t keep bottling it up. That awareness is a sign that you’re ready to start finding ways to let some of this out in a safe way. Even if your friends are busy with exams, there are other people who care about you and want to help.
I understand that you’re worried about your parents finding out, but reaching out to someone like a school counselor or a trusted teacher could be a good first step. They can help you find ways to manage all these overwhelming feelings and support you in a way that feels safe for you.
Right now, the most important thing is to take care of yourself. If you’re feeling like you can’t keep going, please consider talking to someone who can help, whether it’s a counselor, a trusted adult, or a helpline. In Singapore, you can reach out to Samaritans of Singapore (SOS) at 1-767, or you can contact your school’s counseling services if that feels safer for you.
You’re going through a lot, and it’s okay to need help. You don’t have to go through this alone, and there are people who want to support you, even if it doesn’t feel that way right now. Please keep reaching out, and we are here to listen.