Am I weak or just stressed out?

I moved to SG back in May last year for better opportunities and experiences. While I love the colleagues that I’m surrounded with, my work itself isn’t making me feel happy. The reason i relocated was because my company required me to be physically be in the office and the clients that I’m dealing with are not exactly the nicest. I have to be in meetings all day with this particular condescending client. On top of that because the company doesn’t have enough technical staff, we sub-contracted the projects to this other company.

Taking on this project with 0 knowledge and all documentations are outdated, the entire team struggles to keep up. While I understand the frustration the client is feeling, I tried my best to just suck it up and just do my job. Because of this I have trouble sleeping. I wake-up every hour through the night and go to work the next day. On weekends, I just want to stay home and not talk to anyone. This cycle continued until now.

Sometimes I just feel like quitting and move back home but I start questioning myself if I’m too weak which is why I’m having such thoughts. I feel really tired all the time and I don’t know what to do.

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Hey @Happytears thanks for sharing ! Honestly after reading what you wrote I dont think me or most people in fact would be able to handle what you are dealing with now :smiling_face_with_tear: So I think it’s understandable that you feel like you wanna quit or go back to your source of comfort :people_hugging:

I can see that you are already doing your best too and you might be burnt out from all the work and pressure too.

So nope your are not weak I just maybe you just need a break from all these and take some time to recharge and recalibrate yourself :otter:

Does your colleagues know what you are going thru ?

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I think you’re definitely stressed out. Seems like a lot to deal with in a short period of time. Maybe you could try setting boundaries for your work and know that you’ve done your best given the available resources. If you have trouble sleeping, can try some of the sleep exercises here.

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Hi @Otterworldly yes, my colleagues are aware and many are quitting/looking for new opportunities. It is easier for them to find new jobs being the locals here however it is different for me under the working visa. As much as I want to quit my job, I have commitments which is stopping me from doing so.

It’s been 4 days that I went on without much sleep. Either waking up every 30mins/1hour or just not sleeping at all due to work. I really don’t know how long I can do this much longer.


I wish I can set boundaries but to the clients, I’m not doing my job. The constant condescending tone when speaking made me felt helpless.

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Damn :') Seems like those things are not within your control :confused: hmmm perhaps what are soemthings you can do then to get to where you wanna be ?

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Hi there @Happytears,

Thanks for coming on and sharing about your struggles, it must be really difficult to relocate and being overwhelmed with work until it’s badly affecting your sleep. Whatever you’re currently feeling and thinking is valid given your circumstances. :people_hugging:

Firstly, I wanna commend you on your courage to take up a role that moved you away from home - that probably wasn’t a very straight-forward decision and that thoughts of you ‘being weak’ is probably being viewed through a very narrow lens at the moment due to stress and the very tough nature of your role. :pensive:

And I think the most important thing now is to help you with your lack of sleep as that is definitely going to affect not just your productivity but your health. I also understand that there’s strong reasons that you can’t move out of this role at the moment. So, let’s deal with the most immediate concern by trying to get proper rest (to stop and break the cycle of not getting proper rest) by negotiating with your company on a schedule/timing that allows for breaks and perhaps additional staff support/experienced team members?

I’m heartened that you’ve spoken to your colleagues as it’s important to have allies, as it’s going to be very difficult to go on this on your own. I wonder if your organisation has any support in the form of Employee Assistance Program (EAP) that can help with resolving problems for yourself and the company? An open conversation where everyone’s not in a hurry with you sharing your thoughts using I statements: I think/feel … because… and I would prefer that (what you would like done instead). This way, you can get your concerns across and in a manner that your team lead can listen and understand clearly. And perhaps, that can clear the way for y’all to meet halfway to create a win-win situation (you getting some support and client is still supported).

I hope to hear back from you. Remember that you deserve and can get the necessary support you need. Until then, take care! :slightly_smiling_face:


Thank you for your kind words. Unfortunately being in a startup, such welfare and benefits do not come by easily. There’s not even overtime pay. I guess a consolation to me is I have an understanding immediate supervisor. As much as he too is struggling with his work, he is emotionally more connected to us than the bosses and HR. I did bring up multiple times the important to hire more resources to help manage the work load but the management isn’t doing anything about it. They care more about you being in the office and adhering to the WFH schedule when most of us are constantly out due to client meetings.

I feel frustrated and anxious when things don’t get done and I understand that these things are beyond my control and I shouldn’t let it affect me. However, it’s so hard to compartmentalize these emotions. I tried mediation, it worked for a bit until it didn’t. I tried going for jogs to tire myself out but the adrenaline after the run kept me going.

I’m taking this weekend off and heading home for a wedding. Hopefully it’ll keep me grounded and calm to help with the sleep cycle.


Enjoy your weekend hope its a time for you to decompress and perhaps find some direction :muscle:

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