Annoying classmates

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one of my classmates found out a secret about me and without my permission she decided to tell my bff. I don’t know if i should confront her or smth

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I think you should confront her (in a civil/polite manner) because what she did was wrong since secrets are personal and not meant to be shared. If I were in your shoes I would also talk to my bff about it as I wouldn’t want judgement or any negative outcomes from that.

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Hi @user73, this seems like a difficult situation to be in. Thanks for sharing about your worries! You might want to consider talking to your classmate to figure out her motivations behind telling your bff and to tell her that you do not want her sharing your secrets. However, ultimately, it is up to you to decide if you want to confront your classmate about what she has done.

Should you decide to have a talk with her, here are some resources that may help you: here is an article about confronting conflicts, and there is a “Difficult Conversation Planner” here that might help you. All the best to you!

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Hi!! @user73 This is just my opinion, I definitely think you should confront them about it but more in a sense of telling them that it’s not their place to share your personal things.

Before you do, take some time to compose yourself so that you can have a discussion rather than fight about it. I agree with what @starlight mentioned about figuring their intentions however personally I feel, whether or not they had good intentions doesn’t really matter. The issue here is that they overstepped your boundary and the least they could have done was ask you if they can share it, to who and why before they do

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Did your classmate know that it was a secret?

I think there are many layers to consider before deciding whether you should confront her or not.

  1. Whether your classmate knew it was a secret or not. If she knew it was a secret that you wanted to keep hidden but still went ahead to tell your bff then you may want to ask her why she did that.

  2. Did she tell your bff on purpose or was it a slip of tongue? If it’s on purpose then maybe need to find out her motives. If it’s by accident, then you can decide whether you want to let it slide or not. Whichever it is, probably need to be careful about revealing too much info around this person in future.

  3. How did she find out? Did she dig it out on purpose or did you let unconsciously divulge some stuff? If she dug it out, need to be wary. If you unconsciously divulged, just be more careful in future.

  4. How important is this classmate and how willing are you to burn bridges? Confronting a person can have many consequences and burning bridges is one of them. If you okay to burn bridge or don’t intend to be friends with this classmate anymore then just it’s easier. But if you intend to still maintain a cordial relationship then need to consider how this affect future interactions.

Long message but hope this helps! You can share more so we can help you brainstorm for ideas too haha

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