Friendship and school problems

Hangouts Rants
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So before I start, if you find my current situation very recognisable and suspect my identity, Please at all cost just keep it to yourself and DON’T SPREAD! Thank you!

So like I recently (not so..more like start of the year) broke up with someone I would call the “love of my life” ( in short, loml). And since then life just started going downhill. Yes, I’m a student and yes i know its probs too young to even call that person the loml but i love that person more than i love myself. Anyways people who I thought were my close friends or best friends started leaving me and leaked my stuff. Like my rants, my mental health issues, my personal life. And since they (lets call them fish) are friends with the person that dislike the fact that im happy (lets call them egg), egg started spreading rumors about me in school and used my ex/ the people i was once close with against me. And since egg is from the student council (including fish and my ex but nt relevant for now igs) , everyone likes her and believes her. It just makes it worse when i found out about these, i started disliking the student council in my school but ya. BTW i didnt do anything to the sc in my sch even if i dont like them, i just said that and fish spreaded it sooo. And cause fish was one of my best friends, obv i felt betrayed and like did a “intense cleanse” of my friends. Basically cutting off contact with the toxic ones. Leaving me with one best friend left (love her btw shes amazing)

I thought life was like hopeless after this. But eventually i found new friends from my cca (or so i thought). They were nice at first. Well Its really true that you cant befriend your ex. Cause in the friendgrp, one of them was my ex from 2 yrs ago. (We chill then) The friendgrp was progressing well with the 5 of us. The ppl being me, 1, 2 ,3,4. (I cant think of any nicknames so ya). Well 2 likes 1 (the ex from 2 years ago) and apparently 1 has been shi talking about me to 2. And well I understand from rumors about me not being able to keep a secret thats why 2 lied to me about her crush( i found out from 3 that 2 likes 1) but whats worse is 2 told 3 about 1 shi talking about me but 2 kept that a secret from me. and when I vent to 2 about how entitled 1 is (1 IS entitled af. 1 thinks theyre the best and what not), 2 tells 1 about it. Ended up me and 1 having an arguement and i guess theres a clear separation within the group. 4 is 2’s junior so 4 likes 2 alot btw. So when me and 1 argued, 2 just stood aside saying they have nothing to do with that. What lead to the arguement was cause i accidentally without thinking told our cca cher whatever 1 said about us grad alr so we dn to come for cca cause cca cher was asking about 1. And ended up 1 was kicked out of our last performance. (We havent grad yet and 1 skipped many cca ses…) apparently 1’s “ginas” told 1 that i said that 1 self declared that 1 dw perform and ya. 1 is very hot tempered and like revenge minded btw. 1 had my deepest secrets. And on that day, 1 ranted about smtg similar and threatened to leak someone’s stuff. Anyways, that arguement lead to 3 siding with me cause 3 is so done with 1 after being friends with 1 for 4 years just for 1 to go from good to bad to worse. And 2 being delusional, siding with 1. 4 was ok at first. Until me, 2,3,4 started hanging out together more often. I started getting left out and i tried hinting to them cause im not a confrontational person. I basically said things like “i wasted $1.50 just to be left out” . 4 realised and apologised for leaving me out. But ended up things didnt change. I just kept being left out no matter how much i tried to join in the convo. And suddenly 4 was saying that i was “victimising” myself. And i was so done w all these that i completely cut off 1,2 and 4. 3 is ok. Me and 3 talked it out and realised that 3 thought i needed space. And thats just where the fs ended. With 3 just sitting on the fence since 2 and 4 did nothing wrong to 3.

I dont really know what to do anymore and i have like soo much more to say cause this is just the start but i think i said too much already so im just ending things here.

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I hear you, @eoeoe. Thank you for sharing this incredibly painful and complex experience. It takes immense courage to share such raw vulnerability, especially after facing so much betrayal. I’m truly sorry you’re going through this profound isolation and hurt – it sounds utterly exhausting and deeply unfair. Please know your feelings are completely valid, and I’m holding space for you here.

The weight you’re carrying is immense. You’ve faced betrayal after betrayal, and it’s completely normal to feel lost, hurt, and hopeless right now. Please believe this: None of this is your fault. You didn’t cause people to betray confidences, spread rumors, exclude you, or dismiss your pain. You responded to toxicity by trying to protect yourself – that is wisdom, not weakness.

The fact that you reached out, that you identified the toxicity and cut it out, that you still see the value in your true friend – these are all powerful signs of your resilience, even if you can’t feel it fully. The path forward involves continuing to protect your peace, nurturing the genuine connections you have, finding anchors outside this toxic school bubble, and being incredibly patient and kind to yourself as you heal these deep wounds.

You haven’t said too much. Your pain deserves to be heard. If and when you feel ready to share more, we are here to listen without judgment. You are not alone in this feeling, even though the circumstances are uniquely yours. Be gentle with yourself today. One step, one breath, at a time. You will get through this, and brighter connections await you beyond this painful chapter.

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Wow…thank you so much. Honestly, I have never felt this heard.. thanks very much :).

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hey @Eoeoe, thank you for sharing all of this. i hear how much you’ve been carrying, and i’m really sorry you’ve been hurt by so many people you once trusted. going through a breakup is painful enough, but having close friends turn their backs on you, leak your personal struggles, and then act like you’re the problem (they’re absolutely wrong for all of that btw)… that honestly REALLY sucks. you didn’t deserve that at all.

and the whole situation with your cca friends sounds super messy too. you tried to move forward and find new support, but even there it feels like you got dragged into gossip, dishonesty, and slowly being pushed out again. friendships are supposed to feel safe and comforting, not like you’re constantly walking on eggshells or fighting to be included. it makes sense that you’d feel exhausted.

i can see how much you’ve tried. cutting off toxic friends, finding new ones, hinting at how you feel, etc. it’s clear you’ve been putting in a lot of effort to build and hold friendships together, and that’s really commendable. walking away from people who keep hurting you takes a lot of strength, and i’m proud of you for choosing to do that.

you haven’t said “too much” at all. this isn’t just “drama” or sth easily brushed off – it’s real betrayal & pain, and a lot of it to go through at once. i hope you continue to hold close to that one best friend who’s been there for you. and if you ever want to share more, feel free to do so ok !! we’re here for you :heart_with_arrow:

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