Okay, so I was friends with someone, let’s call them K. I met K on the bus, and they were really nice to me and accepted me into their friend group. They had all gone to the same school previously, so they all knew each other, and I knew that so I wasn’t jealous. Anyway, I met new people. Let’s call them C, R, and B. C and R are twins, and B is their cousin. They all knew each other because they are family, and I met C first. I managed to introduce C and K, and met R and B later.
And immediately they were like besties. It was like they forgot about me, and didn’t realise I was the one who started the friend group. I was fine with it at first, as I had others in the group who I talked to, but then we had to deal with a toxic friend. That was hard on me as B was really close to this friend. So B started being really sad and we were worried about them. So all of our attention was on B, and when they got better, it was like K couldn’t keep their attention off of them. Like they forgot I existed. I was able to cope with it for a while, but it started to get to be too much for me. I reached out to B because I trusted them the most, and they were the most likely to try to change. (Btw this is about me feeling like my friends have a clear favorite and don’t like/ ignore me.) So they tell me to also tell K, so I do. Now I don’t directly tell them, instead I send them a picture of a journal I keep on my computer. I was ranting about them not including me earlier that day. So I send it to them. I was using curse words and all of that because I didn’t know anyone would see it at the time. K gets really offended and starts blaming me, saying “you basically tested me and I failed. It’s not about you all the time anyway. And you overreact TBH.” I had put my head down during lunch and I put in my journal that I had a feeling they didn’t care so I was watching them and felt sick and put my head down. And yes, it was also because I wanted to see if they would notice (they didn’t), but that was not the main goal. And K is twisting it to make it seem like it’s my fault. They have managed to get B and R to turn against me, and I didn’t even show it to R. Maybe K leaked it; I don’t know. But I can’t sit with my friends anymore because I feel like they ALL hate me, and K recently texted me saying we couldn’t be friends and was kicking me out of the bus friend group as well. I feel like I have no friends, and I truly trusted K and B with my feelings. How do I let them go enough to move on to new people without telling them all that I hate K and B’s guts? Would love to know your opinion.
I’m sorry to hear that you are currently in the midst of a painful situation. Understandably this is causing distress to you and it’s fully valid that you are feeling ignored, betrayed, and hurt by your former friends, especially K and B. I thank you for the courage to reach out for help on how to move forward with this. It’s not pleasant to be left out, ignored and have your trust broken.
May I suggest :
1. Acceptance: Recognize the friendship dynamics have changed. Accepting does not mean condoning. It is acknowledging what is happening and keeping your focus on controllables.
2. Distance: Establish boundaries or take a break.
3. Self-reflection: Identify valuable lessons from this experience.
4. New connections: Explore other social circles or hobbies.
5. Forgiveness: Let go of resentment; focus on personal growth.
To move on without expressing negativity:
1. Focus on positive experiences with new people.
2. Avoid gossip or badmouthing K and B.
3. Practice empathy: Understand their perspective (without validating hurtful actions).
4. Set boundaries: Limit interactions or establish clear communication guidelines.
5. Prioritise self-care: Nurture emotional well-being.
Please know that you fully deserve respectful friendships where you are valued and appreciated. Your feelings are valid and should not be minimised. Though you are in a challenging situation right now, please do not be discouraged. This is a temporary setback which does not define you. Please continue to grow into your best version. 
Hi @the_last_cheeze,
It sounds like you’ve been through a really tough time with your friends, and it’s understandable to feel hurt and betrayed. It’s especially painful when you’ve trusted someone and they’ve let you down in such a way.
It’s important to remember that your feelings are valid, and it’s okay to be upset about what happened. It’s also important to take care of yourself during this difficult time. Try to focus on things that make you happy and spend time with people who support you.
As for moving on, it may take some time, but it’s possible. You can start by focusing on building new relationships with people who make you feel good. You can also try to let go of the negative feelings you have towards K and B. It may be helpful to write about your feelings or talk to a trusted friend or family member about what happened.
Lastly, remember that you’re not alone in your struggles. It’s important to know that you can get through this.
@CaringBee I talked to my school counselor today, and they recommended talking to the friends. Do you think that’s a good idea, or should I let the situation go completely?
Thank you and well done on speaking to your school counsellor!
I believe it will be good for you to be clear on what you intend to achieve by speaking to your friends. Consult the Counsellor on the best approach to take if you do ultimately decide to speak to them. Request the counsellor to coach you on how to approach your friends, what to look out for and what is acceptable and respectful.
Relationships thrive when there is mutual respect.
If you decide to take baby steps to resume talking to your friends, I encourage you to be reflective and review that mutual respect is in place. Maintain boundaries where needed.
I hope this helps.