Anxious about starting uni

Ask a Therapist Coping
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I’m starting university very soon and I’m really worried about coping. Sometimes I feel hopeful, but most of the time I feel anxious. I’ll be living away from my family from the first time, and I’m also scared that I won’t be able to cope with the academic demands. Uni seems so much more overwhelming because there is less structure and I now have to juggle academics and interning/socialising/everything else.

I’m also on a scholarship and I don’t think I’m capable enough to keep up with my peers. I know I shouldn’t compare myself with others but I don’t know how to stop. I’ve tried studying to prepare myself for uni but it’s been hard to get myself back into it and I feel demoralised whenever I don’t understand things and I start to wonder if my major is the right choice. Due to my scholarship and the GPA system, I feel the need to consistently do well.

On top of that, I don’t know how to deal with peer pressure and the expectation of getting good grades while doing things to boost your CV and get a good job. It’s all so new to me and everytime I think about uni related things, I start panicking or I feel depressed.

I’ve tried breathing methods to take my mind off things, but the distraction is only temporary.

Ultimately, I’m terrified of this anxiety snowballing and affecting my performance in uni. I feel ashamed for feeling like this. I really wish I could adjust to changes better.

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Hi @user863778 thank you for sharing.

I want to clearly tell you that there’s nothing shameful about feeling this way. The transition to university is one of the most significant life changes a person goes through, and the pressures you’re describing (scholarship expectations, living away from family, academic uncertainty, social navigation) are real and substantial. Feeling anxious about all of this isn’t a sign that something is wrong with you; it’s a very human response to a genuinely demanding situation.

The anxiety you’re feeling right now is largely about a future that hasn’t happened yet. Your mind is trying to solve problems that don’t exist yet, and it’s doing so without the information you’ll only get once you’re actually there will only create more uncertainties and fear. Take it one step at a time; you will be able to manage once you are there.

Comparing yourself to peers is one of the hardest things to manage, especially on a scholarship where you feel like you’re being watched. One thing that sometimes helps is recognising that comparison tends to be asymmetric: you’re comparing your internal experience (doubts, struggles, confusion) to other people’s external presentation (confidence, apparent ease). Almost everyone around you will be feeling some version of what you’re feeling, even if they don’t show it.

I would also like to applaud and acknowledge your effort in trying to prepare yourself by studying beforehand. And it’s completely normal that you don’t fully understand the topic yet, because that is something that will be taught to you in school by your lecturers, where proper learning and understanding takes place.

The worries about peer pressure, meeting expectations, boosting your CV, and getting a good job are things that can be figured out along the way, you don’t have to have it all worked out before school starts. Your lecturers, seniors and school counsellor are there to provide support, you may consider reaching out to them!

Breathing techniques can help at times, and you may also consider practising the 5-4-3-2-1 method when your thoughts start to spiral. The 5-4-3-2-1 method is a grounding technique that engages the five senses to anchor yourself in the present moment.

The steps involve focusing on 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste.

You may also explore more resources here: I’m feeling anxious - Mood

If you need someone to talk to, you may reach out to Mindline at 1771 or WhatsApp 6669 1771.

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Hi, thank you so much for your reply.