I play a team sport and I have these teammates that are skill wise, better than me. But I played so badly in one of the recent games that affected the whole team’s performance as a whole, and I’m so worried that they’re like really mad at me for pulling the entire team down and I’m afraid that they also wouldn’t trust me again and wouldn’t want to play with me again. I also know that they sometimes talk behind others’ back so I really think they might have done that too. I don’t hate them, it’s just that everytime I see them or they start talking to me I just feel like breaking down. Even the thought of it at a random time made me start breaking down. I’ve been avoiding them for a long time because I don’t think I can bring myself to talk to them. But I’m also worried this might affect my chemistry with them while in a game and my skills might worsen. And it makes it even worse knowing that they trusted me so much before that one bad game. I don’t even want to play anymore I feel like I’ve given up I rather not be there than be there and let everyone down.
Hi @anon5
Firstly thank you for sharing your experiences in a team sport. I can sense how low you’re feeling. I can also tell how much you care about your team and how deeply you’re affected by what happened. It’s understandable to feel overwhelmed after a tough game, especially when you’re worried about letting others down. But I want to remind you that one performance doesn’t define you, and it certainly doesn’t erase all the hard work and dedication you’ve put into your sport and your team.
In every team, there are highs and lows, and everyone has moments where things don’t go as planned. What truly matters is how you handle those moments—what you learn from them and how you grow. Your teammates have seen your potential and have trusted you before, and they’re more likely to see this as an opportunity for you to improve rather than a reason to doubt you.
It might feel hard, but reaching out to your teammates could really help clear the air. Let them know how you’re feeling. Opening up can help remind them that you care about the team and are committed to getting better. You could say something like:
“I’ve been feeling really down about how I played last game, and I’m worried it affected all of you. I just want to say that I’m working on improving and I truly value being part of this team. I hope we can continue supporting each other.”
They might feel frustrated too, but it’s likely they’ll appreciate your honesty, and it could even strengthen your bond as a team. Avoiding them may only make things harder, so taking that first step to talk it out could be the key to moving forward.
It’s so important to be kind to yourself in moments like this. You’re doing your best, and that’s all anyone can ask for. Bad moments don’t define you, and you have so much more to give. Don’t let this one setback take away your love for the sport. Use it as fuel to keep pushing, growing, and getting better. You’ve got this, and your teammates will see that too when they see you take the steps to show up, both for them and for yourself.
Dear @anon5 ,
Thank you for voicing out your concerns to us. I can sense how low you’re feeling. Thank you for being caring about your team . It is alright to feel overwhelmed after a tough game, being worried about letting the teammates you love so dearly down. However the main importance is remember the belief systems that you view yourself. Success /failure doesnt define our character. You are still a winner deep down no matter what happens.
In every team, there are highs and lows, and everyone has moments where things don’t go as planned. What truly matters is how you handle those moments—what you learn from them and how you grow. Your teammates have seen your potential and have trusted you before, and they’re more likely to see this as an opportunity for you to improve rather than a reason to doubt you. Have you thought of reaching out to your team mates to voice out how you feel about the performance as a team.
No matter the results/outcome, just remember that you have done your best @anon5 . Be true to yourself, be kind to yourself. Failure doesnt determine your worth as a person, just remember that. I’m sure at the end your hard efforts will be seen no matter what happens.
Regards,
Koh Wan Ting
Befriender I let’s talk by mindline.sg
Hello @anon5 ! Thank you for sharing your experience. It is understandable to feel this way.
Feeling like you let someone down is terrible, particularly if you care about the team and the confidence they placed in you. However, I want you to understand that one poor game does not define you.
No matter how good they are, every athlete has had a horrible game at some point. I know it’s difficult to get over that feeling. It occurs. How you respond to that one performance is more important than the performance itself. Your teammates may be offended, but it doesn’t imply they will never accept you. While it may seem shaken after one game, trust can be restored, particularly with time and effort, if they previously genuinely trusted you.
I understand that you’re feeling like giving up and that it would be simpler to go than to remain and deal with the worry of making a mistake again. But you wouldn’t feel this way if you weren’t passionate about this sport and this team. That speaks volumes about you. It indicates that you desire to improve and be a good teammate. Drive, not just talent, is what distinguishes great players.