i dont know how to approach my feelings

Ask a Therapist Coping
1

firstly im taking new subjects next year and the difficulty increase will be inevitable. i know i can be quite hardworking when very stressed but thats also causing me to break down when i cant push myself any further. sure i work well under stress, and that is my motivation, but how do i fix this so that i dont feel like crying everyday?

secondly, i dont like my cca at all. i never even wanted to join this sport but was convinced by my mom to join it and i have stuck with it ever since. ive tried changing last year but the cca that i wanted was full so i just stuck with this too. represented my school in 2 competitions, i burdened both competitions. im trying my best to improve for my sport but the passion really isnt there anymore and i cant emphasise this enough, i dread going there. seeing everyone’s skills way above mine when i cant even catch the ball half the time makes me just want to kill myself. i cant leave this cca now because of my points for my future exam. however i also feel miserable in this sport, i feel like im just pulling everyone down even when im trying my best. i have no idea how to handle this at all.

thirdly, i just feel so empty inside. i dont have many friends and the friends that i have have other people so they dont hang out with me regularly. believe me i have tried socialising but the last time i did that i lost a lot of friends due to some matter that wasnt even my fault and now everyone in my school judges me. i only have one close friend but i feel like my close friend can be quite 50/50 sometimes and can just shut me off when shes mad. recently i found a job and recommended her to work with me but she ended up interacting with our coworkers for the whole day and not me once. i feel kind of undervalued. she also responds to my messages rudely half the time when im trying to be nice to her. so i cant even be kind now?

i have a partner too. even though he makes me feel like the happiest woman in the world, i dont know why i just feel so… empty sometimes. especially when something ive looked forward to for so long gets interrupted by unforeseen circumstances, i feel so disappointed. i know its not his fault but i feel so sad. moreover, its just very annoying when our schedules dont match and that adds on to me feeling more down. dont get me wrong, im not complaining about my partner as hes the best i could ever ask for. but sometimes, the actions he does make me question a little bit, or some things that cannot be controlled happens when its neither of our fault makes me feel down.

this feeling (everything in the previous paragraphs) isnt constant 24/7 but is probably subconscious in my mind. i dont know how to approach it and i dont know how much more i can take before i break. maybe this is a panic attack? i dont know. no, i do not have suicidal thoughts. i just feel empty inside. like theres a hole in my heart.

2

Hi @throwawayacc,

Thank you for opening up about everything you’re feeling—it’s a lot to carry, and I want to acknowledge your courage in sharing it here. First, it’s okay to feel this way. Life can feel overwhelming, especially when you’re juggling so many responsibilities and emotions. Let’s take this step by step.

Stress appears to be motivating you to exceed your boundaries, particularly in your academic pursuits and your CCA. While it’s great to have motivation, it’s also important to allow yourself rest. Could you try setting smaller, more achievable goals and giving yourself credit for progress, even if it feels small? Balancing effort with self-compassion can reduce those overwhelming feelings.

About your CCA, it’s completely valid to feel frustrated when your heart isn’t in something. While you can’t change your CCA now, perhaps you could focus on smaller personal wins—maybe improving just one skill or setting manageable goals to feel more in control. Remember, your worth is not defined by your performance in this sport.

Your feelings about friendships and relationships are also valid. It can hurt to feel left out or undervalued, especially when you’re putting in so much effort. Try sharing your feelings with your friend or partner calmly and without blame—it might help strengthen the connection. And know this: kindness is always worth it, even when it feels unnoticed.

Lastly, the emptiness you’re describing is something you don’t have to face alone. It’s not a sign of weakness to ask for support—it’s a step toward healing. Talking to a counselor or trusted adult about these feelings could help you process them and feel less alone.

You are doing so much already, and it’s okay to feel tired. But please remember, you don’t have to do this all on your own. You are deserving of help, rest, and kindness—both from yourself and others. Let’s take this one day at a time together. You’ve got this.