i have been experiencing anxiety attacks last year and i feel like im at fault at everything. i feel like im so stupid and i cant do anything properly. im in a co-curriculum activity and i feel like i cant do anything properly and im so scared and i just want to run away from everything. im still not sure if I have anxiety or not but I really want to give up and I wonder what’s it like up there without these struggles. i want to cry. my parents don’t believe me that I have this issue so I don’t think ill ever be getting a therapist. I really just want to run away from everything and forget im so tired and I feel like telling people this things will make me loose friends and I fell like everyone just hates me
is this anxiety…?
3 Likes
i honestly think I don’t need help and ive never reached out for help before. i feel like everyone would be better off without me and i want to run away from everything and everyone and disappear. i feel like everyone is just disappointed with me if I stay here. i just want to turn my back to everything i really need that one person to just talk to me about my feelings and not someone close to me or they would think I’m going crazy and im usually not like that school
1 Like
Hi @minari thank you so much for sharing just wanna say its so brave of you to share your feelings out here. I can tell you must be going through a tough time with all the negative thoughts flowing through your mind.
I’m here to listen 
Whats stressing you out specifically for your cca ?
1 Like
It sounds more like you’re facing a case of burnout rather than anxiety. I’m not entirely sure so if this persists for a long time, then it may be worth seeing a real therapist.
You mentioned experiencing anxiety attacks since last year - how long as it been? Has it been very consistent or do you find that there are times where you feel happier?
there are times I feel happy but I always am extremely scared of being judged and stared at as i have no confidence and when i feel like the states are too much i have shortness of breath and i feel guilty and panic and im too scared to go back and i want to run away from everything and I am not sure if this is anxiety or not 
1 Like
im in a sports CCA and i am rather good at sports but not at this sports as i have terrible stage fright since young and super scared to be judged by anyone or eyes just staring at me and my CCA is a performance CCA too and i am not good at it at all and i feel so scared I just have panic attacks i honestly think im just going crazy and no one believes me
1 Like
I believe you. I used to have stage fright too so I understand how overwhelming it can be to stand on stage with hundreds of eyes looking at you.
If you’re good with sports but less so with a performing sport, is there a chance that you can go back to what you’re good at?
1 Like
no… it’s impossible as i am a DSA student who was asked to be in the CCA as my sister was really good at it but I wasn’t that good and my grades aren’t that good either… so my parents asked me to DSA and they wouldn’t want me to be a normal-academic student and so I can’t leave this CCA and I have to cope but I really want to give up
1 Like
Wah being on stage is really scary tbh when I was doing emcee for my school open house I was so afraid that people would judge me and afraid of saying the wrong things 
2 Likes
Hmmm if we look past performing in front of people is there anything that you like about the cca ?
1 Like
That’s a very tricky situation, @minari. Have you spoke to your sister on how she handles this?
I can imagine how stressful it is for you because the stakes are so high.
1 Like
Hi @minari
Thank you for sharing your struggles here with us, I’m really sorry to hear that you’re going through such a tough time, and I want you to know that your feelings are valid. It takes a lot of courage to express these emotions. It’s very common for people dealing with anxiety to feel overwhelmed, doubting their abilities, and having thoughts of wanting to escape from everything.
Your experiences do sound like they align with symptoms of anxiety, and it’s understandable that reaching out for help can be scary, especially when there’s a fear of not being believed or understood by those close to you. Remember that you’re not alone, and seeking support is a brave step!
Here are two things you might consider doing to help manage your anxiety:
-
Journaling: Take some time each day to write down your thoughts and feelings in a journal. This can provide a healthy outlet for your emotions and help you gain a better understanding of your triggers and patterns. Reflecting on your experiences may also help you identify moments of strength and resilience.
-
Mindfulness or Relaxation Techniques: Explore mindfulness or relaxation exercises to help calm your mind. Techniques such as deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, or guided meditation can be effective in reducing anxiety. Do click on each of the link to try out the tools! There are also various apps and online resources that offer guided sessions, making it accessible for you to practice at your own pace
It might be helpful to also explore different avenues for support, whether it’s confiding in a trusted friend, a teacher, or seeking resources online. While I’m here to provide support and validation, I also want to encourage you to consider reaching out to a mental health professional or counselor who can offer guidance and support for you.
I encourage you to reach out to a counsellor who is accessible for you, such as a school counsellor or a counsellor from a nearby Family Service Centre.
It’s important to prioritize your well-being, and you deserve understanding and support. You’re not alone in this, and there are people who care about you.
Let us know how you’re coping! We’ll hear from you soon.
4 Likes
no… I have nothing I like about this CCA
1 Like
my sister’s rather good and she doesn’t have any idea i have this (i don’t even know what i have) and others are way better than me and is what caused me to be scared of staring eyes and judging faces and everyone
1 Like
Wah I can see how it must make you feel so trapped inside 
1 Like
honestly i feel trapped like how you said i feel like i disappointed my parents a lot cus my studies aren’t as good as my other sister and im always the root of problems because of my mood swings and i think i really want to just disappear from this world ngl life is so hard
1 Like
Did your parents do or say anything that felt that they were disappointed ?
Yeah I agree life may seem hard at times but remember to give yourself credit where it’s due okay I can tell that you are already doing your best 
.
I’m still schooling and there was a period of time when school work became too overwhelming for me when I ended up having thoughts like ‘why is it so hard am I not working hard enough ?’ and ‘why are other people so much more competent than me getting good internships here and there while I was not doing much.’ At that point in time I didn’t really have alot of people I could speak to about this also
All these negative emotions and thoughts crowded my mind and made it tough for me to gather motivation to do things but one day after speaking to someone close to me I decided I can’t go on like this so I sought help from a counsellor.
It really gave me a safe space and helped me work through my emotions and find out for myself what I needed to do to overcome these issues. Today I’m still working on some of these issues but I feel more ready to tackle these problems.
Maybe you can give that a try if you don’t feel comfortable sharing with your family yet, what do you think ?
Like what @cottonsoul said there are many ways to help work out what you are going through and most importantly you are not alone and you are not a burden/problem 
2 Likes
do you think I should go talk to the school counseller? i honestly don’t want anyone finding out… im too scared i think I’m definitely a burden to everyone even though I try looking happy for everyone… i feel guilty and I don’t think anyone would notice if I disappeared 
but it’s okay
ill try getting the school counseller and let you know about it
1 Like
That’s not true, I think many people (including your school counselors) are here to help and are very willing to help. Our community is here to listen too, so keep us updated on what happens!
2 Likes
Yeah that sounds good it could be a start for you remember if this doesn’t work well for you there’s many ways you can try going about things so jiayou !
It’s okay to feel what you want to feel be it happy, sad or any other range of emotions. What’s important is not what people think but it is that you are taking the first steps to becoming the person you wanna be and improving your wellbeing .
Let us know how it works out for you ! Remember you are not a burden to anyone and we will be here ready to listen to you
2 Likes