Being Ok with being Alone

Hangouts Rants
1

Im currently 18 turning 19. I’m honestly trying to be ok with being alone. I have tried time and time again to be ok with myself. Usually, after events, I want to be with people. But the problem is that sometimes they want their own time. To themselves. I dont know them well enough and that rly sucks. Events are usually things i go for. Whether it be a hangout, or after a show or something.

Like I went for a SYT show because my friends were in it. I bumped into a few mutuals and old friends of mine, and I thought of joining them. Thing is that they feel awkward cus im 3rd wheeling. I ended up leaving them be and going home.

I think my problem is just this need to be around people all the time. Its the need to have more time with them.

I remember myself just thinking that i was so alone, and friends were unavailable to be with me, and I rly miss hanging with them. I was at a playground near my house when I was talking to people there who were in their early 20s. I ended up crashing out and crying because that I miss them a lot. You can say that they might have time in the future but they are from international schools and they have graduated and are going overseas. So i was scared of not having the time with them anymore.

The new people i talked to at the playground told me that this was their 2nd hangout for the year. It was a duo who meets-up twice a year. This is their first i think. They told me that its the quality you spend over quantity.

Since then, i am friends with them, and i try telling myself that even though i didnt spend more time with my friends, you take back the quality over the quantity of how long you spend and how many times you hangout with them. But its still not enough to keep me going. And its just hard.

To add on, I tried hanging with my friends recently, who have graduated alrdy yesterday, and they needed their time with their mates. Its bc that they spent more time together than me. And i understand. One of my friends from that group, wanted to take a break from me and friendship because that i think i involuntarily crossed a boundary, and the way i was maintaining our friendship was unhealthy. I hope its not for long when it comes to the break. And she said that i think of her as a friend more than what she thinks of me.

Also, to add on, im actually diagnosed with anxiety, adhd and autism. So its rly hard for me to comprehend sometimes.

Anyways, I’m trying to be ok with being by myself, prioritizing the quality over how long and how many times you hang with someone. Including how many people you are with. But its still not enough to be on with being alone ig idk. And taking a break from a friend i treasure a lot is rly upsetting.

Fml

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It seems like you are going through a lot and that’s ok! I understand that in our generation people tend to hang out less and it can be frustrating especially as someone who prefers in person frequent hangouts and as someone who is social. I guess this break is for her to think about her friendship with you and its common to not mean something and say it, not meaning to hurt them. I think there are forums for making friends for like minded people, It could be beneficial for you. Either ways, try not to take it too hard on yourself, as what you are feeling now just shows that we were merely human. If you ever need to vent more you can in this site. I hope you are doing better now xx.

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hi @Ryan.o ,

I am sorry to learn what you’ve been through. It is definitely not a good feeling to be losing friends everywhere. Have you tried attending events on “Meetup” app before? You can meet new people, meaning potential new friends. Definitely give it a shot if you have not!

And how have things been since your initial post?

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Hey @Ryan.o ,
Thank you for trusting opening up with something so personal and vulnerable. Sharing your struggles takes real courage, and I want you to know that I see and honor that bravery :blue_heart:

What you’ve described - those moments of reaching out, hoping for connection, only to face disappointment again and again - that sounds incredibly painful. When people seem too busy or interactions feel awkward, it’s so natural to start wondering if you matter to them at all. That feeling of being unimportant or left behind… it’s heartbreaking, and I want you to know that everything you’re feeling is completely valid and understandable.

I can only imagine the hurt you felt after the situation that happened between your friends. Sometimes, this can make us wonder if we are truly cherished and valued when we keep hearing their excuses and reasons to not meet. That uncertainty of not knowing what to do is really painful.

The fact that you are still willing to meet new people despite all that is going on such as taking the initiative to converse with new people at the playground shows great strength and hope, not choosing to give up. I see you trying and that matters so much💙

I wonder if part of what feels confusing is that you’re still searching for something deeper - those people who will truly see you, understand you, and embrace you exactly as you are. A place where you can feel completely at home with yourself. Sometimes we can meet many people and still feel that deeper longing for genuine belonging.

Maybe you’re feeling discouraged, thinking “why keep trying when I keep hitting these walls?” What if… what if you’ve just been looking in places that weren’t meant for you? Not because there’s anything wrong with you, but because your people - the ones who will truly get you - might be somewhere else entirely.

I remember feeling so out of place in school, like I couldn’t connect with what everyone else seemed to care about. It felt isolating, but eventually I realized it was okay that I was different. Sometimes we need to look beyond our immediate surroundings to find our tribe.

If it feels right for you, you might explore communities built around things you genuinely care about - maybe through online groups, local meetups, or hobby-based communities. Sometimes the most meaningful connections happen when we’re doing something we love alongside others who share that passion (Facebook and Telegram communities are some good suggestions)

Please know that you’re not alone in this journey, even when it feels that way. You just haven’t found your people yet, and that’s okay :blue_heart: These things can take time, and there’s no rush. You deserve connections that feel easy and natural, where you can simply be yourself without trying so hard.

I’m genuinely rooting for you. You have so much love to give, and the right people will be lucky to receive it :blue_heart:

Sending you gentle hugs and hope ~ :leaf_fluttering_in_wind::ocean:

1 Like
5

Thanks for the kind message. It means a lot.

It’s been a rough couple of weeks i guess. I am going out still there and then, but i still have these issues. The current issues im facing is with the friend of mine that needed a break. Idk if she once to stop being my friend. Its just hard anyways.

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Hi there! Yes, i have heard of it. But i am not sure if it will work..

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Thank you so much for this. It’s been a lot.