Borderline personality disorder

Ask a Therapist Mental Health Conditions
1

I want to know if I’m taking the right steps to end my quiet BPD (self diagnosed).

Here are the symptoms I identified among myself.

Derealisation, I keep spacing out and then I see like myself and everyone just doing their thing and nothing feels real in the world like we’re all living in a little bubble.

I withdraw into my own little world when I’m very agitated or feel hurt. Someone hurt my feelings and instead of talking it out with them, I don’t lash out I just sit there and stay quiet and process my thoughts for days.

My self image changes a lot, like my previous post said I look at myself in the mirror and love me but when I look again I suddenly hate the way my face is.

Mood swings changes a lot, especially during end of year rainy season I always feel sadder for some reason

I don’t lash out at others in anger when angry I bottle everything up and smile no matter how bad I feel. I hate it, I hate feeling like a doll.

There’s a couple more symptoms if you therapists wanna ask me and I’ll be happy to answer. I also won’t be going into therapy for any diagnoses. Partly because of money and partly because I don’t want parents to find out about this.

Steps I intend to take to help soften this:
Instead of running away from my fears, I identify what hurts me and I set a bottom line. When they hurt me, I can choose to either give them a second chance or leave them. It gives me better options instead of hiding inside my little world.

Volunteering, I’m scared but I’ve been volunteering with the needy and pet shelters recently, I hope it helps.

Reflecting on what I could have done better and rather than choosing to hate myself for my past choices just look forward to my future.

I still don’t know how to deal with the self image issue so any help would be appreciated :slight_smile:

2

Hi @User35791,

First off, I just want to acknowledge how thoughtful and self-aware you are. It takes a lot of courage to reflect on yourself so deeply and take proactive steps toward growth. The way you’re actively choosing healthier coping mechanisms - whether it’s volunteering, setting boundaries, or reflecting on your past without harsh self-judgment, is truly admirable.

That being said, while self-reflection is powerful, mental health conditions like BPD are complex and can overlap with other challenges. Self-diagnosis can be tricky, as symptoms can mean different things in different contexts. Only a mental health professional can provide a clear and accurate diagnosis, tailored to your individual experiences.

There’s also a misconception that going to therapy equates to the use of a substantial amount of money. Singapore actually has a Youth Integrated Team to provide mental health support for young people like yourself, and it’s available free-of-charge. Typically, there would not be any need to inform your parents unless there is a threat to your own safety or the safety of others around you.

Here’s the link for the Youth Integrated Team: SupportGoWhere

Hope this clarifies on the type of support you need!

Best regards,
HanSolo2000
Befriender | let’s talk by mindline

3

Dear @User35791

Thank you for writing in and sharing your experiences. Adding on to the affirmation and practical guidance @HanSolo2000 has shared, may I gently add that it is fully understandable if reaching out still feels intimidating, especially when you’re used to managing everything on your own. But you really don’t have to go through this by yourself. What you’re carrying sounds heavy, and you deserve support that helps you feel safe and understood — not judged or labelled.

Even just having one conversation with a school counsellor or a Youth Integrated Team member that @HanSolo2000 has suggested could potentially give you a sense of clarity and grounding. There may be benefits to seek professional diagnosis, so that you get the most adequate level of support. You don’t have to have everything figured out before seeking help — being unsure is reason enough.

Also, I just want to say again — the way you’re actively choosing to reflect, grow, and give back (like through volunteering) while still navigating these intense inner experiences… that’s not only brave, it’s meaningful. Please don’t underestimate how far you’ve already come. :yellow_heart: