Hi all! Im Lynz. 26 yr old female mechanic. I have fought through 7 years of constant discrimination, harassement, stalking, assault, sexism. You name it. All in the name of becoming a well versed knowledgeable mechanic. I take pride in that, or i try to atleast. I left the worst shop ive ever worked at in 2024 after suffering for 3 yrs and having to get a restraining order. I started at another wonderful shop. It was a breath of fresh air, but in doing so, i had come to realize how badly that other shop had resurfaced a lot of my trauma and issues i had worked so hard to sort out. I have BPD, severe depression and anxiety due to traumatic childhood/teenage years. The new shop was a blessing. Very understanding. They believed in me. Never once looked at me sexually. Never once doubted my skills. All of my coworkers were very respectful of my boundaries. I am a very small female, and the previous shop had caused severe damage from making me lift extremely heavy tires back to back to back. The new shop NEVER pushed me to do any of the smaller duties like tires or oil changes. They knew i was more than that. I got a good pay rate. It was phenomenal. The only problems. My husband works night shift, which is hard cause we have spent everyday together since 17. And then now he has night shift. So saturdays having a shift only had me seeing him half a day a week. Sunday. And i am used to being a flat rate tech. Here comes the other issue. That shop was not getting enough business for me to survive off of those checks. As much as it hurt me to leave. I thought id be ok as long as i found a good shop to go to. I did research. I found a local female owned shop. Owner is phenomenal. Manager is ok as a person. As a manager she is not. She is one of the main sources of why im here today. Very passive aggressive doubt. When i confront i get gaslighted. I get excuses. I get the waterworks. I get made out to be the bad guy after i get pushed and pushed and pushed. I love this shop. Monday thru friday. Insurance. My coworkers are mostly cool outside. No sexual problems. We all heeheehaahaa. The issue is i applied for the general service technician position. And was told theyd start me out easy and then out me back to what im used to. I shouldve known then. I am not a lube tech. But since then. They have proceeded to hire 3 guys with less verifiable experience than me. Feed them all the good work. Excuse their mess ups. Give them the drop off appointments and bombard and double book me with boiling hot waiting customer vehicles. Oil changes. Tires. Rotates. Lube tech stuff. Degrading and a slap in the face to my 7 years of suffering. When i state my concerns they just seem to go well work on it and it neevr changes. And the new guys continue to come and go. And they all get treated better than me. I get questioned. If im not perfect i get micromanaged to anxiety attacks. A new guy started and he walked up behind me and i didnt notice and i jumped and the manager laughed. Knowing i have workplace trauma. I dont understand. Why am i never good enough? I know i am in a male dominated industry, but i see so many females thriving. I have worked in 2 shops where i have been respected, but due to finances or distance i cannot work in those shops. I am so tired. I love being a mechanic. I just dont know if its my disorder sabotaging me with this shop cause my trauma is still on high alert or what. Next month will be a year at this shop. I dont want to leave. Theres nothing better around here. And what if i end up at another place and get harassed or touched? I need the money. I cant afford a lapse in paychecks. Im so tired of disassociating every single day. I didnt ask for this trauma. People get tired of me. Im tired of it too. Except i have to live with it for the rest of my life. I just want them to leave me alone so i can work on cars.
Hey Lynz (@user7591). Thank you for sharing so honestly and letting us into this part of your world. You’ve been through so much and the fact that you’re still showing up, still working on cars, and still fighting for a place in this industry say so much about your strength. That is something no one gets to take from you.
You stepping into a field you love, with passion, commitment and grit, and what you got in return was harm, betrayal and burnout. That’s not on you. That’s on the people and the systems who failed to protect and value you.
You are not overreacting. And your trauma doesn’t make you weak. It’s your system protecting you. Honestly, I am amazed at your ability to keep doing what you love despite being treated unfairly.
I hear a part of you that’s exhausted. That’s been hurt so many times it doesn’t know where it’s safe anymore. that’s still looking for one place where you can breathe without being on guard. That part of you deserves so much gentleness.
You deserve to take up space, Lynz. You deserve room to heal and thrive, not just one or the other. You’re not asking for too much, just the basic decency to be allowed to do your job in peace. And you absolutely deserve that 
Thank you so much for your validation. I strive to do better, and understand that im not always in the right as BPD left unchecked can cause toxic behaviors. I have worked so hard to heal that part of my head and workplaces like this make me wonder if im the problem or if its yet another spot that i wasnt meant to stay in. Another spot that isnt safe for me mentally. It just really helps to get validation from someone who isnt my best friend or my husband. I feel so alone in the “outside” world. When it doesnt involve my safe people i have no one to believe in me it feels. Which i know isnt true once i sit and think. Its just hard with my head always causing internal turmoil while im in a toxic environment. I have customers who repeatedly come back and ask for me. I juat wish the manager would back up. And stop trying to cause issues. I take pride in my work. Just give me a chance and some space to have a clear head and i will happily work and work and work. But instead i get driven to burnout. And it really hurts my work ethic. I find myself calling out for mental health days atleast every other month. And thats just not me. I never call out.
Hey Lynz,
Thank you for sharing your story with such honesty—it really takes guts. It’s painfully clear you’ve walked through fire just to be able to do the work you love. And it makes sense that you feel tired. No one should have to fight this hard just to be respected.
Reading your post, one thing stood out strongly—how much pride and care you have for your craft. That’s not something a broken or “toxic” person does. That’s someone who loves deeply, and who’s just asking to be allowed to do what she’s good at, in peace. You’re not crazy or overreacting. What you’re experiencing is real, and your body’s reactions are what happens when it has carried too much for too long.
It’s also okay to feel confused about whether it’s the environment or your trauma. Truth is—it’s probably both. A part of healing means we start noticing all the little ways people hurt us that we used to numb out. That’s not weakness. That’s growth. And it hurts like hell.
You deserve to work in a place where you’re respected for your experience, not pushed back down to “prove yourself” again and again. You’re not asking for special treatment—just a chance to breathe, think clearly, and do your job well.
If you’re calling out more, that’s not you failing. That’s your body saying: “Hey… I’m not okay.” And that voice deserves to be listened to. It’s not weakness—it’s wisdom.
Lynz, you are not alone. You are not too much. And you are not broken. You are someone who has survived more than most people will ever understand, and still gets up to turn a wrench every day. That’s strength.
We’re here. Take a deep breath. You’re seen.
You’ve got people in your corner—even out here in the “outside” world. Keep holding on.
Ive never seen a female mechanic in Singapore before. I do see traineeships for aircraft mechanics often. U wanna take a look at that?
Hey Lynz. Thank you for opening up again. It’s clear how much you care about your work, your growth, and the way you carry yourself in this world. That care is such a gift. It’s no wonder customers return and ask for you.
I just want to affirm something you said: you’ve worked so hard to heal. And that effort really shows.
The fact that you’re aware of how BPD can impact your thoughts or responses, and that you’re striving not to let it harm you or others is no small thing. You’re not letting it define you, you’re learning to live alongside it. That’s growth and resilience.
Burnout doesn’t make you weak, it means you’ve been strong for too long without support. And I know how much you wish the manager would back off. When someone chips at your safety every day, it’s normal for your nervous system to stay on high alert.
I can feel the exhaustion and frustration when the outside world doesn’t mirror back the progress you know you’ve made. But I wonder, what helps when you feel most like yourself again when things get overwhelming at work?
Maybe it’s music, a small ritual, a quiet corner, or even just something you tell yourself. I’m asking because it sounds like you’ve carried yourself through storms before, and maybe there are still tools you’ve used that deserve a little spotlight.
I hope you continue giving yourself grace for taking space when needed, because you’re doing what it takes to keep showing up. That’s powerful.
We’re here for you