my boyfriend broke up with me recently. it was a short relationship but it was the first time ive truly felt loved, and loved someone to that extent. ive became very attached to him emotionally and i don’t know how to now cope with all my feelings. we broke up on good terms but i have so many feeling running through me right now. the main reason for the breakup was because he felt overwhelmed by the amount of attention i needed to get, and he couldn’t give it to me even if he tried. i would text him almost every hour to check up on him or js talk and i think that that’s the reason he got too overwhelmed. he also mentioned that because of that he had lost feelings for me and i just don’t know how to feel because i’m that short time we experienced such amazing love but he fell out of it so quickly. i don’t know what to do i’m spiraling and i think i need help.
Hi @ewshuaa
Thank you for sharing your authentic feelings about your break up, and I’m truly sorry to hear about what you’re going through. Experiencing the end of a relationship that felt so profound, especially when it was the first time you truly felt deeply loved, can be incredibly overwhelming and disorienting. It’s completely natural to feel a whirlwind of emotions right now.
The attachment you developed and the emotional investment in the relationship are very valid. Sometimes, when we care deeply for someone and invest a lot of ourselves in the relationship, it can inadvertently create pressure on the other person. The desire to connect and show care can be intense and genuine, but when it becomes overwhelming for the other person, it can put a strain on the relationship.
The reason for the breakup, based on his feelings of being overwhelmed, doesn’t invalidate the love or the depth of emotions you both shared. Relationships can be complex and sometimes despite the love, the timing or dynamics may not align in a way that sustains the connection.
Feeling a mix of emotions right now, including hurt, confusion, and the sudden loss of something so dear, is completely understandable. It’s okay to grieve the loss of what was meaningful to you. I want to encourage you to take your time to heal through this process - and do be compassionate to yourself by allowing yourself to express your feelings whenever you can. You can try expressing your feelings through drawing, journaling, exercising, or even talking to a friend about them.
Recognizing that you’re spiraling and acknowledging the need for help is a powerful step. I encourage you to consider seeking support, whether through talking to a trusted friend or family member, or seeking guidance from a counselor or therapist. Having someone to talk to can help sort through the multitude of emotions and provide perspective and support during this challenging time.
If you’re ready, you can try these online chat options:
- Limitless : Talk To Someone - Limitless
- CPH chat : https://www.cphonlinecounselling.sg/hc/en-us
- IMH CHAT : https://www.imh.com.sg/CHAT/Pages/default.aspx
- ec2.sg : https://fycs.org/ec2-sg
Remember, healing takes time, and it’s okay not to have all the answers right now. Give yourself the space to feel what you’re feeling and be kind to yourself throughout this process. You’re not alone in this, and seeking help is a positive step toward healing and finding your way forward.
Let us know your thoughts and how you’ve been coping so far. We are here to support you.