I have a friend, Pegasus. Pegasus has a crush on Phoenix. Pegasus has another friend called Sagittarius. Sagittarius knows that Pegasus has a crush on Phoenix. But…. Here comes the twist. Sagittarius is together with Phoenix!
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Hey there! It sounds like an unexpected situation, and there’s almost a script or reaction expected — yet that’s just not happening. And that is okay! We all react differently to different situations. Sometimes, relationship situations for example, may just be a situation that we might react differently to. I know for me it’s when I have to network with people!
But it doesn’t mean we don’t care about the person we’re interacting with, or that there’s something wrong with us. It might just mean we express and feel our concern a little differently.
I’m wondering what that concern might look like for you? And if that might help you better identify the care you might have
hey @user3266 , I can see why the situation might feel bizarre and why you felt nothing. like you mentioned, you’re not part of the romantic equation, so that sense of detachment may just be your emotional boundaries working as they should. The fact that you’re reflecting on this is empathy to me!
I used to wonder the same if we should even bother starting a relationship if we’re unsure it’ll last, especially after witnessing situations like Pegasus’. short answer I gave myself is yes, as I see uncertainty itself meaningful. There isn’t a friendship or relationship that comes with a warranty. I stopped fearing the end eventually because even if things end, it doesn’t mean they weren’t worth starting. Every ending makes space for a new beginning, and we couldnt have reached this without taking that first step. If we avoid making connections because of fear, we’ll miss the chance to experience growth and all the small moments that make life feel alive. So even in the face of uncertainty, I’d choose to begin 
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will you walk out of your home in the morning even if you know there’s a chance you might die? there’s a risk in everything we do and every decision we make. 
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Hello @user3266 it’s completely okay to feel a bit detached or unsure about how to react even when it involves close friends like Pegasus. Sometimes when things get complicated and emotions run high, especially with friendships and relationships mixed together, it can be hard to know what to feel. It doesn’t mean you don’t care. It might just mean your heart is trying to protect itself or figure things out in its own time.
I can imagine this is a lot to take in especially since you care about Pegasus and want the best for them. It’s really brave of you to be honest about your feelings. That shows you are trying to understand the situation without jumping to conclusions or forcing feelings that aren’t there yet.
Your question about whether it is worth starting relationships when there is always a chance they might end is such a real and human worry. Relationships do come with risks and sometimes they hurt but they also bring connection joy and growth. It is okay to feel conflicted about that. What matters most is that you are thoughtful about what you want and what feels right for you.
You are going through something tricky and it is okay to take your time with it. Hang in there!
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hello! thank you for replying 
well… after sitting on it for a day, concern looks like “hey, how are you doing? you doing fine?” to me
a part of me wants to check-in on Pegasus, but there’s something stopping me. I’m (probably) burnt out, tired and busy trying to meet academic deadlines. and this makes me feel like i’m an a**hole, selfish friend. i know that my friend is in such a situation that is emotionally taxing but i am not reaching out because i’m prioritising myself and setting my boundary. but there comes another question - if im not reaching out now because im not in the right headspace, then when will i ever be in the right headspace? i’ll always have stressors in my life; i’ll only get busier. so what’s stopping me from making the intentional effort to do a simple check-in?
this reflection is making me doubt my qualities as a friend. not just to Pegasus, but all my other friends as well…
(damn, didnt expect this post to take such a heavy turn)
hello thank you for the reply
i understand that me reflecting on it shows that I have empathy… but i would like to add on that i’m cynical about this kind of BGR stuff. my brain is kinda hard wired to reject romantic stuff thus i feel i am unable to empathize with Pegasus and what’s shes going through. truth to be told, when i heard the news my brain just registered as another piece of news instead of having a big reaction like what my clique had…
and yes, i agree with your stance to begin even if we’re unsure - never try never know 
well said! never try never know!
Hi @user3266,
It sounds like you’re sitting with a mix of quiet confusion and introspection. On one hand, you’re witnessing a situation involving people you care about, especially Pegasus, yet emotionally you feel distant from the drama, almost like an observer rather than a participant. You’re not rushing to judge or react, and that detachment is making you question whether your empathy is intact, especially since it’s your friend who might be hurting. At the same time, this whole dynamic has stirred something deeper in you - a philosophical wondering about the fragility of relationships and whether it’s worth investing in something that might not last. You’re not just reacting to the situation; you’re reflecting on what it means to care, to commit, and to risk emotional vulnerability.