Hi @DealingWithDelulu,
Thank you for sharing what you’re going through. It sounds like you’re dealing with a lot right now, and it’s completely understandable to feel stressed and cornered. You’re trying so hard to protect your mom and juggle your own responsibilities, and it must be incredibly overwhelming.
It’s extremely upsetting to witness someone you care about suffer harm at the hands of con artists, especially when they disobey advice from those around them. It’s natural to feel disappointed and frustrated, especially when your efforts to help seem to fall on deaf ears. Your concern for your mom’s well-being shows how much you care about her, and it’s clear you’re doing everything you can to support her.
I can imagine how disheartening it must be when your suggestions for new hobbies or activities are turned down. It’s frustrating to feel like you’re running out of options to keep her engaged and safe. It’s good that you and her sibling are taking steps to monitor her banking transactions, even though the process is taking longer than you’d like.
It sounds like this situation is taking a toll on your mental and physical health. Losing sleep, appetite, and feeling socially withdrawn are clear signs of how much this is affecting you. It’s important to acknowledge that you’re doing your best under very challenging circumstances. Recognize that doing your best may not immediately change your mother’s situation, but your efforts are significant and valuable.
Feeling helpless when your actions don’t seem to make a difference can be incredibly tough. It’s important to remember that you’re not alone in this. Your entire family is also stepping in to help mitigate the worst outcomes. Everyone is doing their part, and while it may feel like there’s little progress, these collective efforts are crucial.
In situations like these, it’s about preparing for the worst while hoping for the best. Short of taking drastic measures, which could create other problems, the best approach is to continue being supportive and vigilant. Being prepared for the worst means having plans in place to protect your mother as much as possible, even if she continues to resist your efforts.
In case that you may feel unsure if your preparations are adequate, here are a few things that might help:
- Reach Out for Support: Consider talking to a counselor or joining a support group for caregivers or people dealing with similar issues. Sometimes sharing your experiences with others who understand can provide emotional relief.
- Self-Care: Try to carve out some time for yourself, even if it’s just a few minutes a day. Activities like taking a walk, practicing mindfulness, or engaging in a hobby you enjoy can help reduce stress.
- Clear Communication: Keep the lines of communication open with your mom, even if it’s tough. Let her know you’re there for her and express your concerns without judgment. Sometimes gentle persistence can make a difference.
- Professional Advice: You might consider seeking advice from a professional who specializes in elder care or dealing with scams targeting the elderly. They might have additional strategies or resources to help protect your mom.
- Community Resources: Look into local community resources that might offer activities or social groups for your mom. Sometimes having a variety of options can make it easier to find something she’s interested in.
- Contact the Bank: Reach out to the bank’s fraud department to report the scam and seek assistance. They can help monitor the account, potentially reverse fraudulent transactions, and enhance account security. While waiting for formal access, request immediate alerts from the bank for any large or unusual transactions to provide more immediate oversight.
- Legal Protections: Consider obtaining a financial power of attorney or consulting a probono lawyer specializing in elder law to explore options for legal protections.
- Professional Intervention: Encourage your mom to see a therapist or counselor who specializes in elder issues and internet safety. Contact organizations that specialize in elder abuse and fraud prevention for additional resources and support.
- Community and Social Support: Engage local senior centers or community organizations that offer activities and social engagement for seniors. These can provide structured and safe environments for your mom.
- Scam Awareness Programs: Enroll your mom in programs that educate seniors about common scams and how to protect themselves. Sometimes hearing it from an authority can be more impactful.
- Regular Family Meetings: Hold regular family meetings to discuss ongoing concerns and ensure everyone is informed and involved in supporting your mom.
Remember, you’re doing everything you can, and it’s okay to seek help and support for yourself as well. Taking care of your own well-being is crucial in being able to continue supporting her. You’re not failing your mom. You’re doing your best in a very difficult situation, and that’s all anyone can ask of you.
You’re not alone in this, we’re here to support you, and there are people out there who care and want to help you through this challenging time.
Take care.