Depending on school counsellor

Hi, I recently saw my school counsellor for the third time and we discussed the frequency of my sessions, to which I said I would be fine with monthly ones. They said ok and told me to contact them next month. However, I thought again and decided that I still needed support and want to revert to meeting them weekly.

I do think that weekly sessions would be less effective but thinking about not seeing my counsellor for quite some time actually did make me sad. I would like to ask for advice on whether or not I should continue seeing them so often? As I am worried about depending on them too much as well

Hey, thank you for being so open here—it’s honestly such a brave and thoughtful step to even pause and ask yourself this question.

It sounds like part of you is trying to protect yourself—worried that seeing your counsellor too often might mean you’re becoming too dependent. But another part of you feels a real need for support, and just the thought of not seeing them for a while made you sad. That sadness is real—and it’s telling you something important. Maybe what you need right now isn’t distance, but closeness and safety.

Needing that from someone, especially a counsellor, doesn’t make you weak or clingy. It makes you human.

Therapy is meant to be a safe space, and sometimes we need more of that—especially when things are still tender or confusing inside. It’s okay to change your mind and say, “I think I still need to come weekly.” That doesn’t mean you’re going backwards. It just means you’re listening to yourself a little more—and that’s actually a sign of growth, not dependence.

You’re not alone in feeling this kind of tug-of-war inside. So maybe ask yourself: What do I actually need to feel supported right now—not what I think I should do?

Keep going. You’re doing more right than you think :yellow_heart:.

Hey @user9089

Thank you for sharing with us about your feelings so candidly — opening up about your vulnerabilities takes a lot of courage, so kudos to you!

From your post, it sounds like you prefer weekly sessions more, but am afraid of being too overdependent on your school counsellor. I empathise with your conflicting emotions — on one hand, you would like for more frequent support from your counsellor; yet, you’re also worried about your ability to function independently eventually.

But seeking help when distressed is not overdependency — it’s a brave and proactive action towards improving your own mental state and being happier. If you feel that you need more regular check-ins with your school counsellor, doing so is not a sign of weakness or dependency — it’s instead taking autonomy and responsibility over your own life.

So whenever you’re ready, ask yourself: what do I require right now to improve my own mental well-being? Doing so is already one step towards having greater autonomy on your own life. And when you’ve found your answer, go ahead and act on it! I’m rooting for you :flexed_biceps::flexed_biceps::flexed_biceps:

Hey @user9089. I really admire how you’re taking the time to reflect so honestly on this instead of just brushing your feelings aside. That’s already a really strong sign of emotional maturity, self-awareness and courage.

It really stood out to me how thoughtful you are about your own support system. Wanting to reach out more often and worrying about depending too much… both feelings can exist at the same time, and it’s totally okay. It’s actually a sign that you care about your growth, and that you want to strike a balance that’s healthy for you.

Sometimes healing doesn’t happen in a straight line, it happens in circles. And needing weekly support doesn’t mean you’re growing backward, it could just mean you’re in a phase that needs more consistent grounding and connection. The frequency of sessions doesn’t define your progress, how you show up for yourself does.

If seeing your counsellor weekly gives you a stronger foundation to keep functioning, reflecting, or even just making it through the day, that’s already meaningful. You’re allowed to lean on support while you’re learning to walk sturdier.

If you’re open to it, how would it feel to bring this exact worry up to your counsellor? You might be surprised at how they respond, with care, and maybe even some helpful tools on what healthy interdependence can look like.

You’re not failing, you’re responding to your needs, in a way that serves you, which takes maturity and courage :sunflower:

hi @user9089 ,

Thank you for sharing your experience.

I would say that if you feel better right after a session with them, then it shows that the session is working. If you feel the urge to go back to them, may be it is because you have not yet learned to manage things on your own yet, and not that you are dependent on them.

I would encourage you to share your concerns with the counselors (just like what @ScribblingSunflower shared), and work with them to gradually decrease the frequency of the sessions. All the best to you, and let us know how it went :slight_smile:

Hey @user9089,
I want to first acknowledge you for opening up about your current worries, it is very brave of you to do so, and I admire that of you

In my experience, there is nothing wrong with still needing the weekly sessions from your school counsellor. For some it may take longer to reach to the stage where monthly sessions are comfortable, for some it may take shorter, and that’s ok💙

At the end of the day, it is what you think works for you the best that is important, if the counsellor’s suggestion does not fit what you need right now, that’s ok, simply tell them you still prefer weekly sessions

There is no right way, nor wrong way, just what works for you. The fact that you are aware of your struggles and even reached out shows great strength of you and I must applaud you for that! If ever you get indecisive over something, it doesn’t hurt to reach out and explore both sides and change your mind again, keep growing and learning you got this :leaf_fluttering_in_wind:

Many hugs sending over to your way💙