Hi, I’m a new father to a 4 month old baby who is more colicky, cries often and loudly, doesn’t sleep much or get pacified easily. Of late I’ve noticed myself lose my composure and get a bit rough while handling the baby. I’m moping a lot because I’m not able to do the things I would’ve liked to do and it’s unfair to ask my wife for help. She has a lot on her plate too. What can I do? I need help and some counselling
Dear @soulfulseal3092
Thank you for reaching out. Firstly congratulations on the new arrival. I believe you are not alone to go through the loss of freedom and intense fatigue arising out of caring for the newborn. I gather you may be feeling a mix of emotions including joy, guilt, and stress.
Is there any relief available for your wife and you? I suggest to reach out to other trusted family members such as siblings or parents to see if they can help take care of baby for a few hours to allow your wife and you some much needed rest.
I sense how frustrated you are feeling and I recommend you get some additional baby care support soon for your wife and you.
Seeing a counsellor will be helpful to learn coping skills and process the new responsibilities as a father. May I recommend you to contact the national mindline at 1771 so that the team there can connect you to a counsellor. The national mindline 1771 provides immediate counselling and acts as a national navigational guide, connecting individuals to appropriate care options like primary care or community-based support for long-term needs. It also ensures a holistic approach by connecting help-seekers with ancillary services, including social and disability support, through direct referrals to social service agencies.
Alternatively, you could access self help options via the service locator available at Mindline.
It may also help to consult the nurse or doctor to check the cause of the colic and what could be done to pacify the baby.
Fatherhood is a time of transition so please do be compassionate to yourself as you go through this period. You are doing your best and it is okay to ask for help for your own wellbeing. 
Hi CaringBee,
Thank you for reading my post and acknowledging my feelings. Unfortunately we dont have any family or friends here who could relieve us for a few hours rest. We may consider getting help if the responsibilities continue to be overwhelming.
If possible, could you direct me to some relevant paternity-related support groups? I’m currently overseas for work, so is there a channel other than 1771 for me to use to connect to a professional counselor or therapist?
Dear @soulfulseal3092
Thank you for letting me know and I’m glad you will consider getting help if the responsibilities continue to be overwhelming.
Just to clarify 1771 WhatsApp service (+65 6669 1771) provides round-the-clock support globally, ensuring uninterrupted access even during overseas travel. Besides calling you can also reach them through WhatsApp text at the same number. Once you text, the counsellors manning it can guide you on connecting with the list of resources most suitable for you.
In addition, do explore the Centre for Fathering. One of their programs that help first time fathers may be suitable for your needs:
I believe you are already doing your best so do remember to be kind to yourself during this transition.