Hi @_Jay 
Thank you for sharing your feelings and experiences with us. Your message wasn’t a rant and you made sense. I understood what you wrote. I’m really glad that you took the time to share your challenges with us. Your feelings are valid and we’re here to listen to you, you matter! 
Opening up about challenges, especially related to social situations and anxiety, requires courage. You’re not alone in facing these difficulties; many people struggle with similar issues, and there are strategies and support available to help you cope and improve your well-being.
It seems like you’re dealing with a lot of discomfort and anxiety in social settings, which can be tough for anyone. Feeling tense or awkward in situations like starting conversations or participating in group activities is common, and it’s okay to acknowledge these feelings.
Social anxiety is a diagnosable disorder that a mental health professional, like a psychiatrist, can assess and provide guidance on. Social skills are life skills that can be learned. No one is born with these skills, these skills are usually learned through observations from our caregivers and environment. It isn’t something that is explicitly taught to us. Most teenagers/ young adults and even some adults too, struggle to understand the social rules and norms which are ever-changing.
It sounds to me that perhaps there is a part of you that might want to have more social connections. If I’m guessing correctly then please know social skills can be learned and it’s absolutely important for you to learn these skills at a pace that is comfortable for you. If you’d like some strategies hit reply and let me know. I’ll be happy to share more.
If your body is saying no to socials at this moment, that too is okay. You can gradually try small steps. If I’m guessing wrongly and you don’t want to have many social connections that too is okay. Quality over quantity is also valuable.
Before I share more on the resources and possible next step, can we please take a moment to appreciate the strength and resilience within you? 
Being in a poly setting where there are countless social engagements whilst it’s super tough for you on the inside, you show up and you’re doing your best. Being able to keep friendships since sec 1 is a great feat. 
There are many strengths within you and I hope you take a moment to appreciate yourself. 
It’s also great that you’re open to receiving counselling support. It is a great strategy to receive tailored support for your needs. I encourage you to reach out to your school’s counselling centre or student services department to inquire about the available resources and support. Most polys in Singapore do have counsellors on campus and their services are complimentary for students. Additionally, there are online platforms and community organisations that offer affordable or probono counselling services. Please see the resource list below.
I’d also like to suggest some strategies for you to consider to help regulate your nervous system when you feel triggered by social settings.
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Deep Breathing: Practice deep breathing exercises to calm your mind and body. Inhale deeply through your nose, hold for a few seconds, and exhale slowly through your mouth. Repeat this several times until you feel more relaxed.
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Progressive Muscle Relaxation (PMR): This technique involves tensing and then relaxing different muscle groups in your body. Start by tensing your muscles tightly for a few seconds, then release and relax them. Move from one muscle group to another, such as your hands, arms, shoulders, neck, and so on.
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Mindfulness Meditation: Practice mindfulness meditation to increase awareness of the present moment and reduce racing thoughts. Focus on your breath or sensations in your body without judgment.
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Grounding Techniques: Use grounding techniques to bring your attention back to the present and reduce anxiety. For example, focus on your senses by naming five things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste.
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Positive Self-Talk: Challenge negative thoughts with positive affirmations or self-talk. Remind yourself of your strengths, past successes, and coping abilities. For example, “I can handle this situation,” or “I have overcome challenges before, and I can do it again.”
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Guided Imagery: Visualize a peaceful and calming place in your mind, such as a beach or forest or anything that gives you comfort, it can even be a fictional place. Imagine yourself in that serene environment, focusing on the sights, sounds, and sensations. This can help shift your focus away from anxiety-provoking thoughts.
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Journaling: Write down your thoughts and feelings in a journal to process and reflect on them. This can help identify triggers, patterns, and coping strategies. Consider jotting down positive experiences or things you’re grateful for as well.
I hope by doing some of the above the strength of your discomforts can be weaken over time and you can feel more comfortable.
Remember, seeking help is a positive step towards improving your well-being. You deserve support and assistance in navigating these challenges. Take care of yourself, and don’t hesitate to reach out for help when needed. You don’t have to tackle this alone.
Here are some resources for you to consider:
[https://mindline.sg/youth/?wysa_tool_id=feel_more_control](https://Feel More Control )
For confidential and supportive counselling sessions at affordable prices tailored to youth, check out
https://getsafespace.com and reach out to the team for current promotions
Talk To Someone - Limitless
Youth Care - Brahm Centre
TOUCHLINE (1800-377-2252)
Get Help - CHAT
Wishing you the very best, you got this! 
i really appreciate it!! and i’m not sure if i want more social connections, i think i’m okay with just a few friends, it’s just i want to be able to handle basic interactions without tearing myself apart over them haha 
