i have no idea ive been getting really bad waves of sadness and it even hurts physically cause my chest goes through the squeeze sensation and its so awful. Like everyones moving on with their life and getting new friends but ive been stuck feeling so alone for the past 2 years it genuinely hurts and i dont really know how much more of this i can take like it seems so much easier to just yeah and i want a friend so bad and not just any friend like someone who gets me and stuff and i have a best friend. but he changed schools and hes making new friends and every time i go to school i feel so isolated even when im surrounded by people and it sucks so bad like i think its been bottling up for so long i dont know how to stop crying anymore i wish id all just end cause it seems like i just cant make new friends or ill just always be alone i havent been hugged in so long and stuff and i haven’t felt like i mattered to anyone really and everytime i do the person just gets distant cause they probably found better people and it sucks
Hi there harmonioushedgehog9990, thank you for reaching out!
I hear you on the waves of sadness you are feeling that comes with physical symptoms. What you are carrying sounds genuinely exhausting. Two years is a long time to feel this alone, and I can’t imagine anyone going though it that. Loneliness and grief actually do hurt physically, it is not just in your head, your body can feel it too.
Your best friend moving to a different school is a real loss, even if he is technically still in your life, it is not the same and what you are feeling is valid. Watching someone starting to build a whole new world without you is painful and it’s not helping that you feel isolated even when you are surrounded by people.
I also noticed you mentioned "i dont really know how much more of this i can take like it seems so much easier to just yeah" and " i wish it’d all just end", can I enquire more about what you meant by those to better understand what you are currently feeling?