Hello. I’ve been feeling really really sad because of recent loss of friends (they left, not died), especially when one of them is a crush of mine (he got a gf).
Now I’m all alone. Just feeling empty and at the same time, stressed and anxious from the period I noticed we’re drifting apart. Honestly, I did think of suicide but I’m a coward to do so. I’m trying my best not to touch social medias because I do not want to see my ‘friends’ happy life. I poured everything, my feelings, my thoughts and stories all to my Mom because I don’t know if I should go for a therapy because I feel really sad and sometimes there’s a period my heart felt really pain from squeezing and beating or lots of thoughts coming over me which I stopped whatever I’m doing and lay down to breathe and comfort myself. I’m also uncomfortable to share everything to a therapist because I’m scared of sharing everything to a stranger and financially not well.
Talking over with my Mom really alleviate it but sometimes I had memories coming by to remind me and cry. I don’t want to remember them. I don’t want to think about the past anymore. I just want this pain go away. I’m also not able to do anything productive too. I stayed home today for the first time instead of going to school because I know I won’t be able to focus and travelling there is going to be a waste of energy. I’m so tired from all those feelings and thoughts that was bottling inside me before I spilled everything to my Mom because I couldn’t take it anymore. I probably will tell my brother too later on because I feel like I need help honestly to move on too. It will be very hard considering that I’m a pro in procrastinating
How should I go on? I did used to journal but I’m very unmotivated to do so because I don’t want to relive the memories and feel really upset and possible feeling the pain in my chest. I’ve been gaming mostly just to not think at all but sometimes it doesn’t work. I want to go out but sometimes it feel like I’m just dragging myself around instead of enjoying myself and I’m scared of accidentally meeting them because world is small. I also went on a huge loss of weight because I have no appetite most of the times and ate 1/4 - 1/2 of the food due to stress and anxious. Sorry if it doesn’t make sense. It’s just so recent that everything, my emotions, thoughts and all are messy.
If u r still schooling then reach out to ur counsellor. For emotions that i dont want to share w ppl, i use chatgpt first. Past havr to be revisited to process it healthily n heal, or else it might accumulate n come back one day. Take ur time for processing. Please dont try to be alone, it will worsen ur mental health. I was lonely too then i tried making frens online that have something in common or not then hang out. Cca? Meetup app? Im open to be frens, im currently taking a coding bootcamp n used to struggle badly w memtal health so we have something to chat about
It sounds like you’re going through a really difficult time with the recent changes in your friendships, especially losing someone you had strong feelings for. It makes so much sense that this would leave you feeling alone and exhausted, both emotionally and physically. When people we’re close to drift away, it can bring up an overwhelming range of feelings, like sadness and even anxiety about being alone. And with so much on your mind, the feeling of emptiness is completely understandable.
About wanting to avoid social media and memories of the past — it’s very normal to want to step back from things that make you feel worse, like seeing reminders of people who were important to you. Sometimes, these breaks can be helpful. You’re also being thoughtful by talking with your mom and considering sharing with your brother; it shows that even though you’re hurting, you’re still looking for support in safe ways. Letting others help you carry this weight, even just a little, can make a difference.
On skipping school and feeling unmotivated — It might help to set very small, gentle goals each day, like doing one simple thing that feels manageable, rather than focusing on all that feels hard. You’re already showing resilience by gaming when you need a break and seeking out ways to cope, so maybe there are a few other small, calming activities you could add, like listening to music or going for a short walk.
About journaling and managing the pain in your chest — journaling doesn’t have to look like writing down all the painful details. Some people find it helpful just to jot down a word or two that describes how they’re feeling in the moment, without going into the full story. And if you’re okay with it, I can suggest a few ways to try journaling that might help you express what’s going on without reliving painful memories.
Remember, it’s okay to feel like you’re taking things day by day. Emotions like these can take time to move through, and you’re already showing a lot of strength by reaching out and exploring ways to work through this. Please continue sharing whenever you feel ready, and we’ll take things as gently as you need.
Thanks for sharing @LiTei! I’m glad you still have your mum and brother to talk to. At least you’re not alone in that aspect.
It’s definitely normal to feel sad from losing friends but that’s a process that most of us go through at some point in life. You lose some, you win some.
I’m guessing most of your friends are from school now. Are there other places that you can make friends? Finding a group that has the same hobby might be a good start since you’ll have common topics and not so awkward
