Dear @Merrique,
Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me so openly. I hear the frustration you’re feeling—life feels empty, and you’re struggling with disconnection from emotions, whether it’s joy, sadness, or even the ability to process your anger in a healthy way. It’s really understandable that, with so much going on in your life—good work, financial stability, and physical health—you would expect that everything would fall into place emotionally, but sometimes, the external achievements don’t seem to fill the internal void.
It sounds like you’ve tried to use external solutions—like new purchases or vacations—to bring happiness or meaning, but they haven’t worked the way you hoped. This is an experience that many people face—sometimes, external fixes don’t solve the deeper, more complex issues we carry. I’m truly sorry that you’re feeling so stuck and detached from your emotions.
I also hear that you’ve been experiencing anger and irritability, which, despite not feeling sadness, are emotions that show you’re not entirely emotionally numb—there is something inside you still stirring and looking for release. Anger is often a protective emotion, signalling that something isn’t quite right, and it could be that there are deeper feelings beneath the surface, such as unaddressed sadness, loss of purpose, or disappointment. This is something that might need to be explored further in a safe space, where you can really sit with those emotions.
It’s important to validate what you’re going through. It’s about how we feel internally, and it sounds like you might be emotionally disconnected from some important aspects of your life, such as your own needs and desires.
You’ve shown a lot of strength by maintaining such a disciplined routine with working out and keeping up with a healthy lifestyle. That discipline is a great strength, but it’s also important to check in with yourself emotionally and recognise that you deserve to feel more than just ‘okay’. Emotions, even the difficult ones, give us a sense of connection to ourselves, and feeling them—even sadness—can be an important part of healing and moving forward.
1. What is the ultimate goal in life?
This is one of the most profound questions we can ask ourselves, and it’s something that shifts and evolves over time. The ultimate goal in life isn’t always about accomplishing certain milestones or achieving success by conventional standards. For many people, the ultimate goal often lies in discovering meaning, connection, and growth. It’s about finding a sense of purpose that feels aligned with who you are at your core.
You mentioned that despite everything seeming good on the outside, you’re struggling to find that spark or joy. So, let’s consider if the goal of life could be about creating space for new experiences—to grow beyond what we know, to feel deeply, and to contribute something meaningful to others, whether it’s through your career, relationships, or even personal hobbies.
One of the ultimate goals could be to find fulfilment in the journey—in the process of living, rather than focusing too much on the destination. This could mean opening yourself up to new perspectives, embracing personal growth, and accepting the unknown, even if it’s uncomfortable. For some, it’s about self-actualization—becoming the best version of themselves and pushing boundaries.
2. Maximizing Your Time (Especially with a Flexible Schedule)
With the freedom that comes from working only two days a week, you have a unique opportunity to shape your time in a way that aligns with your true goals and passions. This flexibility can actually help you craft a life that feels more meaningful and purpose-driven.
Here are a few suggestions on how you could maximise your time to support the goals of personal growth:
- Reflect on What Lights You Up: Use your free time to explore what excites you, what makes you feel alive, or what interests you on a deeper level. It could be anything from learning new skills to volunteering or exploring creativity through writing, art, or music. Consider keeping a journal of your reflections to track moments when you feel truly engaged and alive.
- Challenge Yourself: One way to grow is by stepping out of your comfort zone and embracing challenges that spark curiosity. Since you’re already committed to working out, perhaps you could set some personal goals that extend beyond fitness, like learning a new language, exploring public speaking, or starting a side project in a field you’re passionate about. Personal challenges like these build confidence, resilience, and a sense of purpose.
- Expand Your Knowledge and Perspectives: Consider setting aside time for reading, attending seminars, or enrolling in online courses that resonate with your passions or curiosity. If you’re interested in personal development, you could explore topics such as mindfulness, psychology, or philosophy. These types of explorations can often open new perspectives and ignite a curiosity that leads to personal fulfilment.
- Contribute and Make Meaning: With the space in your schedule, you might want to volunteer, mentor, or offer your skills to others in a way that feels authentic to you. Contributing to the community or helping someone else can provide a sense of purpose and connection, which can fill the emotional gaps that come from material possessions or achievements.
3. Personal Growth and Progressive Challenges:
If you feel ready to begin a journey of personal growth, here are a few progressive challenges that can spark curiosity and motivate you to expand your perspective:
- Exploring New Activities: Step out of your comfort zone and explore new activities that stimulate your mind and creativity. This could involve taking on something you’ve always been curious about, such as learning an instrument, cooking a new cuisine, or even travelling to a place you’ve never been. The newness and challenge of such experiences can often open up a whole new world of interest and joy.
- Mindfulness and Emotional Awareness: Since you’ve mentioned that material items haven’t been fulfilling, perhaps it’s time to explore mindfulness or practices like meditation. This can help you reconnect with your emotions and discover what truly matters to you beyond external things. Over time, this can cultivate a deeper sense of awareness and inner peace.
- Exploring Meaning Through Connection: Building deeper relationships with people who share your values and interests could create new avenues of fulfillment. You might want to consider creating new connections or nurturing existing ones that offer more than just surface-level conversations. Meaningful conversations can lead to a sense of belonging and emotional depth, helping you rediscover what matters in life.
Seeking support—whether it’s through therapy or simply talking to a trusted person in your life—can help you start working through these emotions and finding meaning beyond material gains or external achievements. You are worthy of a fulfilling emotional life, and I believe you can start to explore those deeper aspects of yourself that are currently feeling blocked.
We are here to support you as you take the next step in addressing these feelings and understanding what’s underneath the surface. It’s okay to be frustrated and stuck—these are just temporary states, and with support, they can evolve into deeper self-awareness and growth. Take care. 
